(Photo credit: Suzy DiMinno)
"there's a real lockdown I love you"
"there's a real lockdown I love you"
"mom please reply I'm scared"
Parked on the side of the road, my heart started pounding as I read the words on my cell phone. I had been on my way to my chiropractor for an appointment when I saw that I had received a text message from my daughter.
I could feel my breath shorten as panic started to rise.
A real lockdown. This wasn't a drill. My mind started to race with images of kids trapped in the school running in all directions as the threat of a potential mass shooting was underway. San Bernadino had just happened and the climate of fear was heightened. A real lockdown.
Aware that I was reacting and misusing my imagination, I simply stopped. I knew better. I had written and talked about this -- how to stay calm in the midst of chaos, that peace begins within and that Love is all powerful.
Now what?
I had a choice -- focus on the drama of the situation (fear) or what's real (Love). I chose the latter. I took deep breaths to quell the panic and to return to calm.
"Inside the chaos, build a temple of love." -- poet Rune Lazuli
Love is the highest frequency on the planet, a power so great it dissolves fear. It's the stuff that brings us to tears. It's who we are. We have access 24/7 to this power that lies within us. It's not a platitude. It's a vibe to be accepted, activated and utilized at all times.
And now it was time to practice.
Shaking, I took deep breaths while reminding myself who I Am. As soon as I got centered, I texted back:
"I love you. Stay calm, breathe, listen to ur intuition. Be the calm everyone needs. Ur okay. Ur safe. I love you! [heart emoticon]"
I acknowledged that she was scared, reminded her to continue breathing and that she had what it takes to remain calm -- a powerful ancient Chinese chant that she had learned years ago through Dr. Master Sha in his book, "Soul Mind Body Healing."
I was grateful that we could be in touch and used that opportunity to be responsible for the energy I was bringing to her. When my heart started to race, I realized I was losing focus and returned to my breath. When the tension in my shoulders signaled to me the same, I breathed some more.
Aware of all the emotions inside me, I knew that I'd be given the space and time to express them later. I trusted that as I continued to hold the higher vibration of peace. It was quite the workout, and it paid off when my older daughter called, crying.
I reminded her that the most powerful action she could take was to breathe deeply, get calm, and send Love to the situation at hand.
When I heard from my husband, I was able to relay the same message to him, as well.
As soon as I arrived at my appointment, I received a call from a dear friend and neighbor who had just passed the high school and had parked at a nearby library. She told me the school was surrounded by police cars and during our conversation at least 20 more arrived.
Each time I heard a siren, I could feel my heart starting to race. I continued to breathe while sharing with my friend what we could do to be a beneficial presence in the midst of chaos. She was on board.
After thanking her, I went inside to receive my chiropractic treatment. I knew that getting my energy realigned was another powerful action I could take to continue being a participant of peace. Anything to help me stay centered, open, and grounded.
As soon as the appointment was over, I received a message that the threat at the school was over. There was no shooter, just the possibility of one, and as I drove back to the school to pick up my daughter, I knew my work had just begun.
Even though it was a false alarm, I knew that for a period of time, my daughter believed her life was in danger -- and that trauma was very real. She had been impacted emotionally and would need to express and feel them. All of them.
When I saw her in the school lobby with tears in her eyes, I held her. As I looked around, the shock was palpable, as was the relief. We couldn't wait to get out of there.
On the way home, I listened to her experience, and what struck me the most was that one minute, she was with her friends, happy, on her way to lunch and the next minute chaos erupted in the hallways as staff was yelling to run to the nearest room, they were in a lockdown. In other words, life changed on a dime. And it was unsettling.
When the threat was lifted and she found out why it happened in the first place (careless words from a clueless kid), she then dealt with her feelings of compassion on top of the fear, sadness and confusion. And because I had practiced holding the vibration of peace, I was able to allow her to process through her emotions fully and more quickly.
That night, I crawled into bed early. It was my turn. My chest was tight and my breathing was shallow. As soon as I laid down, I took deep breaths and sobbed as anger, fear, frustration and sadness washed through me. I continued to breathe as gratitude flooded through me as well. It wasn't long until I drifted into a peaceful sleep.