Penis On The Produce Scale: Scottish Man Cleared Of Weighing His Privates

A curious story comes out of Scotland today, where a man accused of weighing his penis on the produce scale in a Scotmid grocery store was found not guilty of public indecency.

At the time of the alleged incident, last September, the shopkeeper told the Sheriff that she was "really shocked" to approach the produce aisle to see two men hovering around the scales. She told the Sheriff that the men told her, "We are just having our privates weighed."

But the shopkeeper couldn't say with uncertainty what had occurred: "He had something on the scales. I didn't see it properly. It looked like a penis." Though she claimed that, "He put something back in his trousers and it didn't look particularly nice," and in court she did claim that "there was" penis:

Defense Attorney: "You didn't see a penis at any point?"

Shopkeeper: "There was one, yes."

Shown the store's video of the produce aisle at the time of the incident, she said, "I could have been [mistaken about seeing a penis], although there was something there. It could have been a hand. Maybe it was."

At the time of the incident, the defendant -- who was drunk at the time -- when confronted by the Sheriff, said:

"This is a totally false allegation. I can say that for a fact. I was there. I can remember standing on a stool, but I can't remember anything else".

So that settles that. More details here.