Rules are everywhere in the world. You must do this, you can't do that, sometimes you can do this...
I understand rules are important, but rules are different than laws. Laws are more about keeping society in check, and punishing wrong-doers. If you steal money from someone, yes you deserve the consequences.
What I'm talking about are the little rules we all have in our lives. Think about it, and I'm sure you can list about 10-20 little rules that you have and/or live by.
The problem with these rules is that we waste so much energy on them. Recently, I was riding my bike in New York City in a bike lane, when someone shouted "Hey, you're going the wrong way! What are you doing??"
The bike path has a one-way direction on it, but everybody rides both directions, and as long as you don't get in anybody's way, you're fine. Another time someone screamed at me for going the wrong way, saying, "YOU ARE GOING THE WRONG DIRECTION, ON THE WRONG SIDE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" These are complete strangers, by the way.
Why this is more than just which way I ride my bike is that we all have little rules, and if affects our mindset more than we know. I read something recently that the reason we get angry is because people break the rules that we have.
Think about it. When was the last time you got angry? And what was the reason for it? Did it have to do with a rule you believe in that someone broke? I guarantee it was. Maybe it was a little rule, or maybe it was a bigger rule. Either way, someone broke it, and you weren't happy.
The New York Times published an article about the distractions we all face in our lives. If we're intently focused on something, then we get distracted by a phone call or a person asking us for something, it takes us about 25 minutes to regain that focus. This is why social media is such a nuisance, because it takes us so long to regain our focus after we watch that 30-second cat video.
But let's take it one step further, and say someone interrupts us then breaks one of our rules. Let's say you need someone for a project, but they have to leave early. If you get angry about this, it will take much longer to regain that focus. And all you will be thinking about is the project and how unreliable that person is.
Over time, all this anger and all these little rules add up. If you get angry every day, or every other day, physiologically this takes a toll. Instead of worrying about what you want to accomplish months, or even years from now, you live in your world of little rules. Your body, instead of focusing on repairing and cleaning, directs the energy to your heart since your heart rate skyrockets. When you feel sapped and exhausted at the end of a day, the amount of times you get angry plays a big part.
So what can be done about your little rules and your anger about them? First, think of the big picture. Where do you see yourself, your company, or your project? If someone is a day late on a task, is it really a big deal? If someone spills the coffee, can't you just clean it up? If someone gossips about you behind your back, can't you just let it be?
When you are focused on the bigger picture, you worry about the details but aren't consumed by them. You know that whatever little roadblocks appear are moot because you have a higher purpose, vision, and mission. When you are focused on that mission, your health remains because you are in alignment with what you know you're going to accomplish.
When you're focused on yourself and your development, the little rules other people break don't matter. You know you have a higher purpose and you're on your path.
Embrace that purpose and path, and your mind and body will thank you.