Everyone deserves to come home to a furry, slobbering welcome that nearly knocks you over, a gentle purr or the loud rustling of excitement in a paper-lined cage in the corner of a family room, any of which fills your home with the warmth of a long-awaited greeting. Pets enrich our lives and in some cases can even make you healthier.
Choosing the right pet for your life and style is incredibly exciting, but it can also give you a few nervous butterflies, as well. Worry not, hipsters, brosephs and eco-warriors of the world; we empathize with your pet-search plight. In the name of mobilizing all potential pet parents, we’ve teamed up with Pets Add Life to find your perfect pet match. Find your most similar lifestyle archetype below and reveal your pet soulmate.
1. The Park Slope–Residing, Co-Op–Shopping New Mom
You’re young, environmentally conscious and living in Brooklyn, N.Y.’s baby capital. You’re empowered by your new role as mother and want to provide the best for your baby while also doing right by the Earth she’ll inherit. A pet sounds like a great idea. It will teach your daughter to care for and respect animals, and, quite frankly, it would provide additional company for you until your husband returns from freelancing all day at the local WeWorks shared office space.
Adopting a rescue animal has always appealed to your maternal instincts and sense of purpose. You’re a feminist -- as every human being should be -- and are empowered by Abby’s name and demeanor. She’s great with new people and kids, which means you won’t have to worry about her adjusting when the nanny starts. She’s already trained and housebroken, so she won’t add to your potty-training duties. And at a perfect 35 pounds, Abby can be toted around with the same amount of ease as you do your fair-trade baby carrier.
2. The Midwestern, Recently Graduated Fraternity Brother
You work in finance and like to one-up your Sigma Pi Chi brothers in every way possible. Life is a competition. But you also have a soft spot for the four-legged, finned and winged creatures that co-inhabit the earth. You love living on your own, but you’d love to share it with a companion animal.
Barry the Betta fish from Old Town Aquarium
Yelp for the win again! Any pet that relies on you to relieve itself is not a good call right now. Your job demands long hours at the office and, in turn, a lot of blowing off steam on the weekends. Betta fish are beautiful and relatively low-maintenance. (Just keep Barry away from other male Bettas, which are also known as Siamese Fighting Fish.) Also, you’re an associate and not a partner, so those floor-to-ceiling, exotic-fish–filled aquarium dreams aren’t realistic at your current salary. But do take pride in the feistiness of your pet and brag about its uniqueness to your fellow bros. He also looks as slick as you do in your work suit.
3. The Portland-Based, Whiskey-Making Lumbersexual
Life moves too fast for you in big cities like New York and L.A. -- and what did they do with all of their trees? You moved to Oregon to fulfill your dreams of opening your own micro-distillery in a misty micro-climate. The small outfit has a few chill employees with great beards and ear gauges. You all keep it pretty casual at the “office.” And although you are starting up a business, you still make time for the inspiring landscape of the Pacific Northwest. However, trekking those trails out there all by yourself can get pretty lonely, and you long to find a long-term companion that shares your passions.
4. The Bostonian Graduate Student
You rent an affordable (read: cramped) studio apartment that’s only a five-minute walk to campus so that you don’t have to trek far after late nights researching your thesis at the library. In fact it’s a lot more all-nighters than you will ever admit to your worried mother, but in two and a half more years and you get to insist on others addressing you as “Dr.” Despite the freedom of your own space, it’s lonely living by yourself -- but you don’t exactly have the room for a cat or dog, nor do you want to be walking a dog in the middle of a Boston winter.
5. The Nashville Newlyweds
You found an adorable single-family home in suburban Franklin that embodies Southern charm. Work keeps you both busy, and you enjoy exploring the burgeoning bar and restaurant scene. But you also value quiet time at home (once you have a child, the silence will be a rare commodity). You're also hoping that having a pet will allow you to both learn more about each other and grow together as caretakers in preparation for future little ones.
6. The Tech CEO Ruling Silicon Valley
You are pretty pleased with yourself. Google and Facebook are in a bidding war over your startup. Who knew a delivery and recipe-sharing app devoted solely to hot dogs would be such a hit? You are allergic to all things with fur, but always wanted something to hold over the office and tell your little guy or gal, “This will all be yours someday.”
Pets add fun, love, companionship and unconditional love to your life. Whether a dog, cat, guinea pig or bearded dragon, there’s a perfect pet for everyone. Take #thepetstep and search for your new companion here.