You feel stuck. I know. I often do too.
You are stuck in a relationship, a job that just isn't fulfilling, a poisonous situation, an unhealthy mindset, or a pattern that some days makes you feel like you are circling the drain.
You fear you will never get unstuck. Or, worse yet, you have started to become okay with how stuck you feel and have begun to accept your status quo.
You can get unstuck. It won't be easy, but the difficulty and trial of this process is the journey that separates the stuck from the unstuck in life.
Here is a way out:
Step 1:
Prove to yourself that you are not alone. Find community around your fundamental truths.
I can't tell you specifically how to do this because it is different for everyone. But true community that holds the same values that you do is possible. Keep looking. Follow the scent of that which resonates with you on a deep soul level. Retreats and online classes are a great place to start.
Step 2:
Let your new community settle into your bones. Let it reconfigure the molecular level of what you believe about yourself. You already know what truths are important to you, but let them rework who you know yourself to be. Let them see you and don't shy away from your inner beauty that they reflect back to you. Own it!
Step 3:
Now that you have support and your worth is reenforced, try something new. Wherever you have felt stuck, slowly work on that area of your life like a masseuse works on a tight muscle.
Maybe play with adding a practice of yoga or meditation, a side project you hope to develop into a new career, an art medium like photography or painting, or a shift in your eating habits. These types of activities are fundamental to creative engagement. Creative engagement -- the emotional and intellectual participation in the creation of new ideas, objects, and experiences -- is the backbone of fulfillment and overall health. In a word, creative engagement is a solid road to hope.
Step 4:
Fail.
Step 5:
Try again and tweak what you did last time.
Step 6:
Fail again. Repeat these last two steps until you start to notice a pattern.... What clicks with you? What resonates? Who have you met along the way? What signs have you gotten that might provide some direction?
Step 7:
Finally start to be less attached to the outcome. The desperate yearning within your soul for something different and the feral clawing at change will not actually make the change come faster.
Peace. Acceptance. Surrender. Passion. Knowledge. Connections. These things will be your best friends.
Bonus Points: Take on the mantra, "I am not stuck."
Step 8:
You suddenly realize that independent of the various measures of success, you are no longer stuck. This realization makes all the difference because, if you remember correctly, being stuck was the feeling you were trying to shake off. You have now made it over that hill. This doesn't mean that all your problems are over forever, but you are on your way.
You now have community, failures and successes to learn from, and a mentality that allows you to have peace and confidence that the universe has not forgotten you. Creative engagement is transformative. You are now on your way. Enjoy the feeling of that.
Some days I am convinced that feeling like we are "on our way" is all we really want.
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