Valentine's Day is fast approaching ... you know, that special day when Americans are expected to go buy their loved ones everything they can find at their local CVS: cards, chocolate and stuffed animals.
But what if your "special someone" in your life is actually not a human? More specifically, your pet. You're fine with telling your significant other that he or she is your Valentine, but you know, deep down in your heart, your furry (or not so furry) sidekick takes first place. We understand -- humans are so overrated. That's why we have highlighted 13 reasons your pet is your actual one true love forever and ever.
1. Your pet will never argue with you.
Your pet has never hurt you with words, because he can't talk. He has only made you mad when he ripped up your couch cushion. But that was only because he missed your absence so much.
2. If your dog slobbers, it's cute...
If your human significant other slobbers ... well, that's a more serious problem.
3. She has no expectations.
Will she be mad that you didn't book a reservation at a nicer restaurant? Will she notice that you overcooked the steak? No, she won't ... because she's a cat and she could care less about frivolous human problems, like what is an appropriate gift to get someone for a made-up holiday. She only wants your affection. And maybe another treat.
4. As long as you take care of him, your pet will never leave you.
You really never have to worry about your guinea pig cheating on you or unexpectedly breaking up with you. He is hopelessly devoted to you. Just remember to feed him every day!
And sure, cats and dogs have been known to let their curiosity of the outside world get the best of them. But make sure to put a chip in them and even if they do get lost, they'll probably be getting your snuggles by the end of the night.
5. Your pet gets outwardly excited to see you when you get home.
Does your boyfriend or girlfriend bolt to the door with the utmost excitement when you come home from a long day of work? No. They just sit on the couch and mumble, "Hello." But your dog comes bouncing to door, so eager and happy to see you, every single time you turn that doorknob. That's true love.
6. They won't judge you for what you're wearing.
Remember when your girlfriend asked you to never wear that "hideous sweatshirt" ever again? Well, your pet bunny could really care less what you have on. In fact, you've probably hung out with him naked many times. He didn't even bat an eyelid.
7. You have more pictures of your pet than your significant other, anyway.
You know your cat is your true soulmate when you realize that you have three times as many pictures of your cat on your phone than of your significant other. And some of those photos are framed and proudly displayed on your nightstand. Your boyfriend doesn't get that honor yet.
8. You never fight with your pet about what to watch on TV.
There has never been a time when your dog has picked up the remote and changed the channel right in the middle of that show you were just starting to get really engrossed in. No, your dog loves just snoozing next to you on the couch, no matter what you're watching -- even if it is a guilty binge on "The Real Housewives."
9. Pets give the best snuggles.
Speaking of laying next to you, there is absolutely nothing in the whole world that can beat your pet's snuggles. You could lay with them all day and all night and never get tired of it. Sure, both your dog and your significant others have been known to snore, but one looks much cuter when he's doing it.
10. No one is better at cheering you up than your pet.
An editor at HuffPost told a story of how when she was little, she would never let anyone see her cry except for her dog. Sometimes what you need when you're sad is simple, silent company.
11. No gift is ever too small or disappointing for your pet.
Have you ever seen a cat when you give it a new toy? Or a dog when you buy him some new treats? It sure beats the reaction your girlfriend gave you when you bought her that gift that she said was "oh... so thoughtful." Pets really understand that it's the little things in life that make all the difference.
12. Statistics say that your pet is a better match for you than your human mate.
A survey conducted by pet food brand Old Mother Hubbard discovered that people found that their pets met more of the characteristics they would want in a mate than their significant other did. The company surveyed 741 adults who owned dogs and were in long-term relationships. When asked about certain traits (like love at first sight, faithfulness and friendship), 55 percent of the people said their dogs met that criteria more than their human partner.
13. Last but not least, they don't really have a choice.
Sorry, Fluffy, but you don't have much of a say. We're spending Friday on the couch watching "House of Cards." Happy Valentine's Day.