Helping people fall in love is just part of a day’s work for Los Angeles-based couple Peter Scalettar, 34, and Cassie Lambert, 33, both producers for the reality TV franchises “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette.” But while they steer contestants toward finding “the one” for a living, they never expected their jobs would lead them to a happy ending of their own. As they prepare for their August nuptials, the couple shared their story with HuffPost Weddings.
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Cassie: Peter and I met in 2008 on the very last day of shooting Matt Grant’s season of “The Bachelor” in Barbados. I’d been working on the show for about a year, and Peter, who was assigned to be my camera operator for the day, had just returned to the crew from a two-year hiatus. We spent about six hours together shooting b-roll and interviews while Shayne Lamas, one of the two final cast members, waited for her proposal. Watching Pete interact with Shayne and the crew made me see how charismatic he is, and there was an immediate attraction. At one point, we cuddled up to take a picture together, and I thought, "I don't want to leave from under his arm."
Peter: I met Cassie just weeks after my return to the show. Seeing her talent on display was really sexy. She knows how to command a room: She’s able to laugh and be funny but still get the job done. It’s really mind-blowing.
Cassie: Less than a month later, we started we started prepping DeAnna Pappas’ season and I was thrilled when Peter came back as a full-time producer. While we did go on a couple of dates, our relationship mostly progressed during work hours. I remember one evening when we had to go run errands. Pete let me drive his car -- which apparently doesn't happen often -- and we ended up ransacking some random Walmart around midnight. We had the best time running around the store.
When production started, we were on “house producing duty” together, which included interviewing the cast about what they want -- in a partner, in a marriage, in life -- and pushing them to say those things to someone on their first, second, third dates. Because we would hang out for 15 hours straight talking to the cast and with each other, we’d start asking each other things like, “I know how so-and-so feels about x topic, how to do you feel?” We found ourselves moving at a faster pace, just like the people on the show, discussing things we normally wouldn’t so soon. I really got to see who Pete is at work by watching him talk with cast members -- he’s going to be amazing when our daughter goes through her first heartbreak someday! About halfway through the season, I think we both realized this feels right.
Peter: I don’t know if there was a moment that I could pinpoint where I felt “this is the real thing” because we didn’t go into our relationship with any major expectations. I think you get to a point in life where you just know. Nine months after we met, we moved in together.
Cassie: Working on the show really propelled our relationship forward. But we’ve also had our ups and downs because our personal and professional lives blend so much. We work 24/7 and we’re on location six, seven months out of the year, living in hotel rooms. It’s so much time spent together, but not quality time.
Peter: We’ve learned to drive to work separately.
Cassie: We also do this kind of cheesy ritual; when we were shooting in New Zealand about a year into our relationship, we discovered this Māori tribe greeting where you put your foreheads and noses together and breathe in as a way of centering yourself. Whenever we’re stressed, Peter and I put our foreheads together to remind us of who we are and what’s important.
After four years on the show, we started getting pressure from our friends, the crew, Chris Harrison. Even cast members were like “You’re telling me to get engaged, why haven’t you guys?” Finally we asked ourselves what we were waiting for. I think what really pushed us to get engaged was hearing cast members describe what they wanted in a partner and realizing that, everything they’re looking for, we have in each other.
After Christmas last year, we took the train into New York City, which is part of our holiday tradition: we see our families and then we spend a couple days on our own in the city. We were in Grand Central and there’s this thing we call “the whisper wall” -- you can face one column and someone can stand at another and you can talk to each other really quietly but still hear each other across the room because of the architecture. We do it every time we’re in the station. When we got off the train, Pete suggested we go to the wall and I thought, “Well, this would be a cool way to propose,” assuming the moment would be a lost opportunity for him to ask me.
Peter: Generally I’m not a nervous person but when we got off the train, I had tunnel vision. There could have been someone getting robbed on either side of me -- or murdered for that matter -- and I wouldn’t have seen it.
Cassie: He was standing at one end of the wall and I was standing at the other and he said all these sweet things about how much he loves me and how spending time with our families over the holidays made him want to spend the rest of his life with me. Then, he turned around, and I was looking at him and crying and we sort of met in the middle of the station.
Peter: The look on Cassie’s face was a combination of total elation and “f**king finally.” I must have gotten to a point where I was just rambling about our love and forgot about the important question because I remember her saying, “You need to actually ask me.”
Cassie: Then, he pulled out a ring made of Legos that we’d bought together in London after we’d been dating for about three months.
Peter: We found it in a small boutique on Portobello Road and things felt so right even then that I truly considered proposing to her with it on the spot. Instead, I carried that ring around with me every day for over three years.
Cassie: When he finally asked me, it was like the floodgates of love and emotion opened and I finally let myself fall for him completely. He was so sincere with his words, but also so nervous which made it feel even more spontaneous and real. I loved that he pulled out the Lego ring since we had such a history with it, and it was a good gut check for me when my reaction inside was, "OK -- I guess I'm rocking a Lego engagement ring," and didn't even mind. Needless to say, I was thrilled when he pulled out the real deal. I never thought I would be the girl with the gorgeous ring.
Peter: People at work were trying to get me to propose on set, but Cassie and I let so much of our life get preoccupied with the show and other people’s relationships that I wanted the proposal to be just our moment.
Cassie: For our wedding on August 4th, we wanted to acknowledge how we met, so there will be some "Bachelor" elements. Former cast members will be in attendance and Chris Harrison is going to marry us -- we asked him to get ordained. But we’re not having roses. We have enough roses in our world.
Click through the slideshow below to see photos of Peter Scalettar and Cassie Lambert throughout their relationship, as well as some images from their engagement shoot.
Cassie Lambert & Peter Scalettar
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