The Pinterest universe is filled with intricate hairstyles, ornate cakes, all-white bedrooms and nonchalantly beautiful people that all seem to suggest You can be this immaculately put together, too! All you need is a braid tutorial and a cookie sheet! But the line between aspirational and depressingly unattainable is often frighteningly thin.
I've been using Pinterest over the past few years, mainly as a recipe sorter, but also as a destination for pretty photos, inspirational home decor, haircuts I'd like to get and DIY projects I convince myself I'll actually take on at some point. It's oddly fun and mindless to scroll through my feed and sort aesthetically pleasing images into organized boards. There does come a point, though, when I reach Pinterest saturation and I end up feeling more inadequate than I felt before I had mentally promised myself I'd live such a perfect, crafty life.
Its seems only healthy to periodically do a Pinterest "life audit" of sorts, just as Arianna Huffington did with her daunting bucket list when she turned 40. Rather than wallowing in guilt about not learning German or becoming a good skier, Arianna freed herself from the weight of those unfinished tasks by simply crossing unfinished items off her to-do list.
"It was very liberating to realize that I could 'complete' a project by simply dropping it -- by eliminating it from my to-do list," she wrote. "Why carry around this unnecessary baggage?"
So instead of feeling bad about all of those lattice top pies and mermaid braids I still haven't attempted to recreate, I've decided to unload the baggage of pins that spark the I'm-such-a-failure dialogue in my brain.
1. I will never do this overly complicated twisted side braid.
What made me think I'd have the patience to weave my hair into a beautiful tornado, let alone dig through my bags to find enough bobby pins for it to stay put?
2. I will never make this crepe cake (or any crepe cake, for that matter).
Ain't nobody got time for that.
3. I will never be this chic.
Barring the unlikely event of a romance with Prince Harry, it seems likely that I will never be a British royal.
4. I will never make a terrarium in a syrup canister.
I would love to know what prompted me to think, "Ooh, let me save this activity for later!" There is no later for me and a decorative plant encased in a condiment container.
5. I will never be able to do cool, '60s-inspired cat eyeliner with glitter.
One eye always comes out poorly, and my glitter skills are sorely lacking. C'est la vie -- you can't be good at everything.
6. I will never have a "Godfather II"-era Al Pacino as my boyfriend.
The world is a cruel and unusual place.
7. I will never make my own lipstick.
The 87,000 colors available at Sephora will have to do.
8. I will never be a minimalist pixie dream girl.
Seriously, how does one not spill coffee in an all-white bed while tousling hair and thumbing through a magazine?
9. I will never repurpose wine crates to make kitsch storage units.
I'm pretty OK with that, actually.
Sorry not sorry, Pinterest.