Chain restaurant Villa Italian Kitchen has served up some piping hot polarization over the years. It’s responsible for 2017′s $10,000 pizza bikini and the unforgettable gender reveal lasagna meal that came out earlier this year, which ― yes ― comes filled with pink-or-blue-dyed cheese.
Yet somehow the restaurant chain has managed to offend us most deeply not by something it’s added to pizza, but rather something that’s been taken away: namely everything that makes it great.
Its new menu item, “Just the Crusts,” is available starting July 18 and is a deceptively pizza-shaped box that, when opened, reveals six pieces of just pizza crust. No actual pizza. It’s what an Instagram post from the restaurant calls “everyone’s favorite part of the pizza” and is absolutely not everyone’s favorite part of the pizza.
Aside from the fact that pizza is perfect in its original form, completely with sauce and cheese, there’s something else wrong. These are breadsticks. And breadsticks have their purpose: mainly when they’re served in unlimited quantities alongside salad.
Most people we know eat their pizza and leave their crust for the dogs (or douse it in ranch dressing to mask its dyness). But we do all know that one person who claims to love crust. To them, we say: Enjoy paying for the part of the pizza you usually eat off of your friends’ plates for free.
As for us, we’ll stick to the slice, the whole slice and nothing but the slice.
