This Pastor Has Convinced Us: Pokemon Are Actually Cyber-Demons

Who knew Satan would create such a fun game?
LUDOVIC MARIN via Getty Images

Guys. Maybe Rick Wiles is onto something.

The self-described conservative, orthodox Christian observed on his “Trunews” radio show on Monday that “Pokemon Go” sure has made a lot of churches into Pokestops — landmarks where people can pick up virtual tools for the game.

Around the U.S., some places of worship have used this to their advantage, displaying signs inviting players to come in for services while they’re there.

But Wiles suspects something far more sinister is afoot. That Pikachu may look cute and friendly, but it’s probably a cyber-demon.

“The enemy, Satan, is targeting churches with virtual, digital, cyber-demons,” he said. “I believe this thing is a magnet for demonic powers.”

He didn’t immediately reply to a request for comment, and we’ll be honest — at first we laughed off this idea. But that was before we noticed this disturbing pattern:

Kristianity, spelled wrong
Edible underwear
Mad abortion
Orgies again
No God

HOLY @#*(#(&%#^&#(.

Noting that the “Pokemon Go” app is likely to lead players to Christian churches, Wiles posed a serious question about national security.

“What if this technology is transferred to Islamic jihadists? And Islamic jihadists have an app that shows them where Christians are located geographically.”

A solid point, since before the game existed, there was literally no way to find these places.

Before You Go

Creepy Clowns

Creepy Clowns

Popular in the Community