COMEDY

Hey, Women Who Play Pokémon GO, Check Out My Bedroom

Want to go back to my place for a nightcap and a Zapdos?

DATING PROFILE

Aaron

26-year-old man

New York City, United States

Seeking women, 24-99 years old

 

ABOUT ME: I like baseball, darts and lobster rolls. Also, I just downloaded the Pokémon GO app and discovered that my 14-by-12-foot bedroom is host to a surprisingly dense collection of the world’s rarest Pokémon. An apparent glitch has caused the most extraordinary pocket monsters to congregate together at my place only. So... you up?

Is it getting hot in here or is it just my legendary bird engulfed in dazzling flames?

Oh, your last boyfriend had a puppy? Mew is similar, except he’s exponentially more adorable and disposes of his own poop.

Vodka on the rocks? No problem. Oh shoot, I’m out of ice. One sec... 

ARTICUNO! COME LAY SOME CUBE-SHAPED EGGS IN THE PRETTY LADY’S GLASS!

My apartment is rent-controlled and mind-controlled.

The only downside to this infestation is this one creep who will not GTFO of my bathroom.

HuffPost

BEFORE YOU GO

CONVERSATIONS