As if there weren't enough political scandals already, here are some scandals we'd like to see next.
1. Joe Biden - Caught illegally housing several big jungle cats in his Delaware home.
2. Chuck Grassley - Managed to butt-tweet several random characters that look like male genitalia.
3. Chris Christie - Forces his staff to participate in "Silly Hat Day" against their will.
4. John McCain - Eats the paper off cupcakes.
5. Barack Obama - Put an end to White House Pizza Friday, but the pizzas are still being ordered. Where are the pizzas going, Obama? Where are the pizzas?
6. John Boehner - Was caught betting on illegal feral cat races.
7. Nancy Pelosi - Was discovered to have a secret profile on StachePassions.com, a dating site for people who love mustaches.
8. Mitch McConnell - Has a secret family … of bunnies who have somehow managed to blackmail him for large sums of money.
9. Rick Perry - Has a side gig dressing up as Baggy Britches the clown for children's parties and doesn't report the income to the IRS.
10. Hillary Clinton - Started a fight club.
11. Michelle Obama - Actually eats nothing but KitKats 90 percent of the time. And was once overheard saying "Kale is bullsh*t."
12. Paul Ryan - Found a way to reanimate the corpse of Ronald Reagan but didn't tell anyone and has just been secretly keeping him at home.
13. Anthony Weiner - Somehow accidentally sent sexts to a billboard in Times Square and in a mass mailing brochure that went out to 3 million people.