Politics For Dipshits

All my life I have overheard dumb people talking politics; at the gym, the store, the post office, the coffee shop, and I have bitten my tongue. Well no more biting. Here is my response to every Godless dipshit I have tolerated for all these years. I realize most dipshits don't read the Huffington Post, but this will still add years to my life.

Dipshit Argument 1) "We need to throw all the bums out and start over!"
Someone will mention that congress has a nine percent approval rating and say that "they do nothing," and use that as justification that we need to unseat ever single member of congress and replace them.
And replace them with what, I ask, aardvarks? If every member of congress was voted out in the next election, guess what, dipshit, they would be replaced with exactly the same kind of people who have already been getting elected; lawyers, doctors, wealthy business people, dot commers.
It's not as if there is a parallel universe of wonderfully honest public servants out there dying to be elected.
Furthermore, if these people weren't dipshits they would probably come to find that all senators and congressmen are not rotten to the core. There are a few who are doing a good job and serving their constituents well. So why throw the baby out with the bath water.

Dipshit Argument 2) "We need a third party."
No, we don't. America has had a two party system from day one. Parties have come and gone and there are various fringe parties but, by and large, we are set up for two major parties and if someone wants to get elected to public office today they would be well advised to buddy up to either the Democratic or Republican party and use its existing apparatus to make that happen.
When was the last time a Green party candidate was elected president? Never.

Dipshit Argument 3) "Obama's gonna take away our guns!"
... and that Lefty Kenyan, communist is gonna declare martial law and force us to have free healthcare!...
Lets not forget, Bill Clinton was supposed to take away our guns, and Jimmy Carter. I'll bet FDR was going to take away our guns.
If there is one thing Democrat presidents suck at, it's taking away our guns. Obama's only got a year left and he hasn't even begun to overturn the second amendment.
Don't you worry, Mr. and Mrs. Dipshit, there will be plenty of guns and school shootings to go around.

Dipshit Argument 4) "I don't vote, so politics doesn't affect me."
Really? Politics doesn't affect you? So, you don't pay taxes, drive on public roads or receive mail?
Politics affects us in all sorts of ways, every day of our lives; our food and medicine is regulated, our skies are regulated, we have public schools, and millions of people receive Social Security and various sorts of benefits.
If you choose not to vote and choose not to be informed, you are choosing to have as little power as a citizen can have.
There you have it. Please, smart people show this blog to at least one Dipshit.