Popping Our Trumple

Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump speaks during a rally at the Reno Ballroom and Museum in Reno, Nevada, Sunday,
Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump speaks during a rally at the Reno Ballroom and Museum in Reno, Nevada, Sunday, Jan. 10, 2016. (AP Photo/Lance Iversen)

America, Dab the Donald!

WASHINGTON - It's hard to argue with the opinion of one of the nation's top dermatologists, Dr. Reginald Tetnoir, that presidential candidate Donald Trump is the country's best hope for curing its unsightly and infectious condition.

Dr. Tetnoir's view is elegant, compelling and rooted in science. "A pimple on the forehead of America, Trump has served as a pore through which the ugly pus that has been festering subcutaneously in this great nation finally burst to the surface and spattered freely all over the media."

OK, it's a wee bit disgusting in the moment, but think of how much better we'll all feel, once we get cleaned up and exfoliate a bit.

Yes, there's a sizable chunk of angry white guys who are understandably pissed about living in a country where hard work no longer yields a living wage -- and they have been Foxed into blaming their plight on ethnic minorities of one kind or another. Yes, they may feel that Trump somehow represents their righteous indignation, because he, like them, was born into wealth and priv -- okay, logic may not be a useful tool here.

But, relax, even the ten to twenty percent Party of Angry cannot elect a pugnacious, pusillanimous pustule for president.

In fact, the Trumple candidacy may be our best chance to exorcise our malingering demons and move closer to the great nation promised in our constitution. (Hey now, just swallow and stay with me.)

What is the effluvium spurting from that white head? It's Trumple's economically and socially illiterate assertion that minorities and immigrants are the cause of income disparity in this country. Of course, no serious economists, nor facts, support that view -- even houseplants and bathtub mould snicker quitely when exposed to such illogic.

And now that that infection has been brought fully to the surface, we can treat it as what it is: mere filth and rot, not worthy of serious debate. So let's all just grab our national cotton swab and dab, dab, dab.

When copious microphones and cameras expose demagogues to be the scoundrels they are -- whether it's Joe McCarthy or Trumple -- the overwhelming majority of Americans glance up from their busy lives long enough to register the truth, have a quick puke, and move on.

Perhaps we will have the Trumple to thank for getting the healing underway.

Or at the very least, we can hold our heads up at the prom, knowing that even the most pesky zit will eventually dry up and fade away and we remain, America the more-or-less beautiful.