So it’s been a while since I’ve written an opinion piece on here.
A quick update would include being on Hormone Replacement Therapy for about a year and a half, establishing a small group of artist/critic friends who all happen to be transgender and (trans) friendly, and University Of Toronto kicking me out for my marks being too low.
Career wise, I started fashion designing again and was recently invited on an all expense paid trip to Festival Mode Design in Montreal. We were on a delegation from Toronto of significant people who started the Canadian Fashion Industry, (some who also happened to be one of my mentors over the years such as Robin Kay and Jeanne Beker). A little awkward because it was my first appearance among colleges post-transition. When I say we, I also mean my boyfriend attending the trip as well.
Boyfriend right? Shocker. Non-Binary/Trans genderless alien dating a cis-hetero and male passing individual. See…I grew my hair out and now a days I’m less E.T and more Memoirs of A Geisha. Simple chinese makeup, black bob, 5'5, booty and perky tits. The thing about us is that we don’t actually gender each other very often. Even though I don’t mind she/her pronouns, we both pretty much always use they/them with each other.
Ultimately we’ve moved past the identitarian politics. For me and a lot of friends of mine…after you understand gender (or gender binary) isn’t really a thing, neither is sexual identity. Basically for me, my partner, and the rest of my friends we don’t care who you’re attracted to, or who you have sex with..we get that your behaviour doesn’t define your identity, or the self..let alone your genitals don’t dictate your gender. Furthermore, who needs to label anything if you understand the foundations of pansexuality to polyamory? Before you right us off as hippy’s…trans humanist ideas such as Morphological Freedom support “queerness” distinction from “transition”. Transgender versus Transition. And medically transitioning for me, is very much a practice rather than an identity.
We met in an art gallery. I opened during the summer of July an art gallery called Chinatown Gallery at spadina and queen, to help a bunch of my trans and non-binary artist friends sell and promote work. No one bought anything. But it was a great learning experience also because Will Carpenter’s paintings were hung in the gallery and by chance Matthew was friends with him. Matt walked into the gallery and I was just cleaning, our eyes met and bing bang boom…we chatted, shared work and information. A couple days later we had an opening party and after everyone left…lets just say clothes came off, right there. That night Matthew told me something funny…”I didn’t know you were trans..”…”..I know the situation I’m in, I can continue living my life comfortably or just cross this line of social construction”. I’m paraphrasing. It was clear that Matthew has already been immersed in an Toronto art culture with multiple friends who were trans or nonbinary or both. BUT it was also clear that Matthew has never really been a part of queer culture. Historically only being with cis-woman. Regardless…I was immediately drawn to Matthew’s unfiltered critiques of sanity and countless conversations on the objectivities of human experience. Matthew is less an artist and more an Art Historian or Critique.
After that night Matthew read me a poem they wrote for me.
the form, void and water
the fist things described
in genesis
I search for land across the
lake from you gucci gucci
palace in the west above
I search for morning racing to
get lost a long drive from home
but we caught a shipping wind
sailing my mess organized from
blood in three quarter time
love is lonely loose and a stroke
off good luck fa choy
far from a trouble you bought
me micky dees
-Matthew Grimm
25 years of dating/relationships/connection no one had ever written me a poem. It was a lot. They were everything I ever wanted in a person.
I will always remember the first time Matthew said…”I love you maybe?”. I was about to leave Matt’s apartment and as I reached to close the door I heard those words. I walked back and leaned on the side of the door and said “I’ll see you tomorrow, smiled, and left”. The next day, I wrote this love letter.
Dear Matthew, I only grew my hair out so that I would co-exist with the first human that wanted to be with me. You are right about somethings and wrong about others. You are right about sanity. Sanity can be as much a choice as love. There is even a problem with “I” in this letter because I don’t believe the self exist. Love is simply a choice to keep engaging as much as it is to live is to keep existing or making the choice to end ones experience of existence. The reason romance plays a function is because I make a distinction between love and romance. What you are wrong about is education. The internet is education, an extension of the consciousness and many will live and die never applying the knowledge they have input. Also, Matthew you should know, I never gender you when I am away from you. This is because gender is the matrix. We have the ability to design our sanity, our existence. I’ve been one for long enough, work as a singular and if you’re looking to choose an extended reality with me, I love you too. Ps. I’ll have sex with you eventually. — adr 胡明邦
Without going into specifics, we have both approximated that I don’t believe that identity exists and for them reality doesn’t really exists. What does this mean for humanism? I think this is just the beginning of research that goes beyond social science and applied science. When I think about the new(er) fields of study such as cognitive science and psycho analysis which blends the social and the applied…taking into account entities and AI (Artificial Intelligence) within humanism (..to seek solely rational ways of solving human problems), I think about the ever changing meanings of relationships.
Cognitive Biases, Hormonal Biases, or even Sanity Biases that prevent human from being fully rational give evidence to a post-human society.
My argument, continued argument is that no matter how many scientific achievements we make that change our genetics (such as Hormone Replacement Therapy or cognitive technologies such as Anti-Psychotics) and change what it means to be human…shouldn’t romance or romanticism still play a function in society?
But maybe I’m wrong, this whole article is simply anecdotal evidence..
AND I’ll get back to you on Matthew and I…