Oh, Valentine's Day. A time for love, a time for chocolate, a time for stuffed teddy bears and romantic comedies.
Translation: a corporate holiday created to induce stress, tears and the occasional romantic moment.
For all the singles out there, awaiting their special someone or celebrating themselves on this day of lovers, Valentine's Day is no big deal. No need to create a special moment or stress over an appropriate gift. A good Valentines Day consists of a box of Godiva chocolates, signed, sealed and delivered to yourself.
This particular Valentine's Day, as I enjoyed my gooey chocolate Pop Tart, I began to realize a trend in the conversations I had with my girlfriends.
They all felt guilty.
Not just on Valentine's Day, but during any particular instance where they were pursued by a guy and ended up rejecting him.
The days following the big V-Day, my friend went on a casual date with a guy from her high school. She came back to my room, plopped on the floor and freaked out for five minutes before getting her wits about her. She felt bad, because he was a nice guy and she didn't feel attracted to him. Then, she bounced back and forth.
"I mean, he could grow on me...those feelings could develop."
Two minutes later: "But it felt more like I was talking to my brother."
Yikes.
The other day, as me and my roommates were playing in the snow, we decided to play a game. We would admit the meanest things we've ever done to people that we regret, and then get hit in the stomach with a snowball so we could learn from our mistakes.
One of my roommates admitted that she always felt bad about rejecting a guy who asked her to prom.
Why is that girls feel like the devil incarnate when they reject a guy's advances?
It's because society tells us that if we don't comply to a man, to a standard, we are a stone cold bitch.
True, most of the guys who pursue my friends aren't jerks. They're nice guys with friendly personalities and a lot to offer. They're not touting around a PATRIARCHY flag or trying to oppress the girls that they like. But we've come to a time, in a world where sexual liberation is at it's peak, where girls feel like they don't have a choice.
The truth is, girls, you're not obligated to like anyone. Even if he's cute, even if he has a nice personality, even if all of your friends think you guys would be the next Beyonce and Jay-Z.
You have a choice.
Don't let guilt get the best of you, because you're innocent whether or not you like the boy. You're not a bitch for turning him down, you're not "cold," for rejecting someone's flirtatious advances.
You don't owe anyone anything.