'The Loss' That 'Changed My Life Around'

I am a student at Wake Technical Community College in Raleigh N.C., and a member of "The National Honor Society of Leadership and Success." I have had the pleasure of hearing a broadcast with guest speaker, Arianna Huffington, and it was absolutely one word, "Awesome."
Arianna asked if anyone had a story in their life that has affected them tremendously, and I wanted to share a little story about a tragedy that happened in my life that has taken my life into a complete 360 degree turn.

I am an author and writer myself, but just a beginner and published my first book in December of 2013. I struggled to write my book for many years and the Holy Spirit worked on me until I couldn't do anything besides to write. When Arianna stated in her broadcast about the nagging voices in our heads, the difference of the voice that was in my head, was a positive soft voice. My book is written about my life and that soft voice that has been with me since the age of four years old. The struggle for me was that I was hiding this experience, because deep in my heart, I thought I was crazy or different and didn't want anyone to find out. Throughout my life I have always had a soft voice that has comforted me and directed me to do what is right and to know things before they happened.

One of my experiences that I wanted to share was when I was 30 years old and pregnant with my third child. I was seven months in and didn't have much time left before I was ready to deliver. I was having these crazy feelings and felt like my baby hadn't moved much that day. That night I had a vision and an uncle that had passed about nine months prior came to me while I was sleeping in my bed. My uncle died of colon cancer, and he was very thin when he passed away. In my vision he was healthy and he had on an all-white draping, he was smiling and looking very happy. I asked him why was he here and what was he trying to tell me. He never spoke. He handed me a baby book and gave me the hand movements to open the book. I opened the book and there was a very light skinned baby swaddled in a blanket. The face was blurred out and I asked him if this was my baby and what was he trying to tell me. I asked my uncle, "Did you come to take my baby?" My uncle shook his head, "Yes", and all I remember was screaming and telling him "NO." My husband came in the bedroom petrified asking me what was wrong. I explained the best I could, and wanted to try to sleep to calm myself.

I called the doctor's office around 9:05 am, and told them that I felt something happen to my baby and that she had died. Of course they were confused and tried to calm me and stated that they would meet me at the hospital. After all the testing, it was true; my baby had no heartbeat. Even though I knew deep in my heart that she was dead before any test were performed, I had this prayer in my heart that I was wrong and my baby was alive and healthy. It was the most devastating thing that I could have every endured. The loss of my baby girl changed my life around. In my book I go deeper into what I went through, but the new direction that I took was nobody, but God's will. In just a few months, I had joined my family church and was baptized. Everything that had happened had helped me understand what my gift was all about and what God wanted me to do with this gift that He has blessed me with. It gave me the strength and courage to write my book and I shared many of my life experiences with the soft voice that has made me who I am today. I asked God for all the direction in writing my book, down to the title of the book. My book is called The Gift and it was published exactly two weeks before Christmas in 2013, which was all in God's plan. All my life I have always been a very private person, so I fought many years not to do what my soft voice told me about writing The Gift. In my book I talk about the struggle of writing my book and I know that God wanted me to write my book to share my gift with others. I pray that I can help someone and even if it's just one, that will be a "Gift" for me.

Now, during Arianna's broadcast when she stated that she would love to hear from some students about an experience in our lives, the soft voice interrupted my focus during the broadcast by speaking to me and telling me that I needed to tell my story. I pushed the thought out of my head and carried on with listening to the broadcast. On my way home the soft voice spoke to me again, stating that I really needed to think about sending an email and telling my story. Of course, I just over looked the thought and told myself, "You don't have the guts to do it." The next morning, as I sat at my computer reading my scriptures and drinking my coffee the soft voice once again spoke to me about writing my story to Arianna. This time the soft voice was more demanding and gave me the courage and confidence to send an email, and here I am, telling my story in the Huffington Post. Now tell me that wasn't anybody, "But God." Thank You for listening to my story and God Bless.