Will You Be At My Gay Wedding, Mom?

I have a friend. Let's call him "Erik". Erik is gay and he wants to get married one day. However, there are two problems with that. First, Erik isn't in a long-term relationship of any kind and shows no signs of settling down anytime soon. And second, Erik wants his mom at his wedding.

Let's assume that, at some point, Erik will find the love of his life and will settle down with a lovely, smart, and handsome man. First problem solved. The second, sadly, isn't as straight forward. You see, Erik once asked his mother if she would attend his wedding if he were to be marrying a man and his mother never gave him a straight answer (she didn't give him a gay answer either). Her answer was that she felt she would be betraying the Lord and that this was tantamount to asking her to choose between Erik and Jesus Christ!

Aside from their thoughts on homosexuality, Erik and his mother are super close. Just as a gay son and his mother should be. He considers her the most loving, caring, and wonderful mother a person could have. She would lie for him, she would die for him, she couldn't go on if she lost him. And he feels the same way. It's just this one thing she cannot seem to get past.

The question that Erik needs answered is: when the time comes, should he invite his mother to his gay wedding? The answer may come easy to some but for Erik it's the hardest decision he'll ever have to make. The reason it's a dilemma is because there are only a few possible conclusions and all but the most unlikely are bad.

Erik sees only two outcomes:

  1. He could invite his mother. This puts the burden on her. If she shows - THERE IS A GOD AND SHE LOVES THE GAYS! But Erik knows this is highly unlikely. If the more plausible outcome occurs he is reduced to a weeping, unconsolable mess on what is meant to be the most magical day of his life.
  • He could choose to not invite her and lift the enormous burden of making that decision off of her. This would allow him to avoid his own emotional breakdown knowing that she didn't have a choice in the matter. The problem is Erik would feel completely heartless and cold knowing his mother is sitting at home on his wedding day, knowing she knows but not giving her a chance. This could destroy her.
  • So the question is: Does Erik protect himself and not give his mom the chance to say no? Or does he expose his tender, optimistic, unguarded heart knowing he could lose half of it the moment he slowly and sorrowfully turns away from the one vacant, white chair in the front row as he begins his vows?