O.J. Simpson and Casey Anthony today announced that they are engaged to be married.
Simpson popped the question to Anthony during his allotted daily phone call from the Lovelock Correctional Center in Nevada, where he is serving a minimum nine year term for robbing a sports memorabilia dealer at gunpoint.
Said Simpson,"I knew from yesterday at around 11:00 AM that Casey and I were meant to be together. We were accused, some say wrongfully, of heinous crimes. We both chose not to testify at our trials so the jurors could get home to their families. And in both our cases those 12 men and women were able to ignore the facts and do what was right."
Despite audible complaints from prisoners standing in line behind her, Anthony spoke at length from the Pinellas County Jail about the coming union.
"I realize there's no evidence that O.J. and I will be happy together, but there's no way to prove that two people are in love. You can't smell it. You can't see it with surveillance cameras. You can't find it with German Shepherds. The fact is, evidence is highly overrated."
Simpson concurred:
"Casey and I fit together like a pair of gloves that are temporarily separated. Sure we're not going to be able to share a tray of food for around a decade. Of course we won't spend quality time together at midnight on the putting green until I'm north of 70. But I can tell you one thing: That woman is mine. She's mine. And no one, no matter how young or good looking or tall or Jewish she or he might be is going to get in the way of that, or me."
Casey Anthony said she's hoping to be released from custody later this week and, after hosting a celebratory party that she expects to last into early August, will fly to Simpson's side.
"I don't know where Lovelock is," she said, "but I think the name says it all. O.J was meant to be there, and I should be there with him."