Potty Talk

Years ago, when our first son was a baby, we went to the Bronx Zoo. It was a hot August day in NY. This was before zoo animals had "habitats." Back then they just had a little outside space and long narrow inside cages. We have come a long way, thankfully!

Anyway, it was feeding time for the tigers and everyone was gathering inside the cage area to watch. They had opened the spaces between the cages and the big cats were pacing and waiting for their slab o' meat.

One tiger, in particular, seemed to be performing for the crowd. He'd pace a bit, then growl, then paw at the bars, etc. He was drawing quite an audience. Then as if he'd planned it, which I believe he had, he hiked his big leg and peed on everyone!

You can imagine the chaos! First of all it was hot in there, secondly, there was barely room to move. For once we were in the right place... by the door! He missed us, but there were a lot of people driving home from the zoo on that hot and humid day soaked in tiger piss. I imagine some were using public transportation. Can you imagine getting stuck on the subway with that?!

So here's my point today... why is it most times, when I go into a public restroom and open the stall door this story comes to mind? Because women are animals in public bathrooms! There is no other way to describe it.

I know there are many places that have unisex bathrooms now, so women can blame men. NO, it's not men hosing down the stall, trust me. My husband actually was appalled to think men were too lazy to even lift the seat. Then I told him it probably wasn't the men who made that disgusting mess.

But, WHY??!! I read a story once that claimed women were total slobs in public bathrooms because they didn't have to clean them. Now, I'm the first to complain about cleaning toilets, I raised 2 brothers and 2 sons. I know I didn't leave that drip down the side, or puddle on the floor. But it never made me want to go hang from the stall door of a public bathroom and pee while swinging wildly to and fro!! I swear that's what it looks like in there sometimes.

So I did a little research. We've all heard the dangers of allowing our delicate derrieres to come in contact with the dreaded toilet seat. BUNK! Check out this link to find out for yourself. I would never lie about this. I love their tag-line at Straight Dope... 'Fighting ignorance since 1973, (it's taking longer than we thought)'. According to them about all you can get from a toilet seat is cooties. You'll pick up more germs trying to wipe it down from the last aerialist who was there.

So, ladies, I'm begging you sit down, relax, take a load off. You'll be doing another sister a great favor.

And don't even get me started on toilets in Europe!