It has been a theme in my office lately, the frustration we can feel with recovery, well, really with ourselves.
The frustration of falling off track with the choices of recovery. The sense of it never getting easier. The inaccurate inner critic telling us that we are a failure and that we will never _____________ (get better, lose the weight, be happy, achieve success).
When this happens it can feel easier to just stay down, to wallow and sit in the shit.
How long does this have to feel like such a struggle? Will it always be this hard? Will I ever feel motivated to choose better?
Some of my clients look at me and think this recovery I fight for every day is easy and that I have it all figured out, which really only means they must not be keeping up on my blog. They think that the only way I practice my self-care daily is because I feel like it and I am super jazzed and awesomely motivated to (sarcasm).
And, sure, there are days this can feel true, but not every day, in fact probably not most days.
There are days that I must just choose it.
JUST DO IT.
And no, it is not easy. But it is simple. However, I know just choosing recovery is definitely not easy, and maybe not even simple, in the depths of severe depression and anxiety. But, I do believe that we still always have the ability to choose again.
PRACTICING RECOVERY DAILY MEANS THAT I MAKE THE CHOICES THAT ARE ALIGNED WITH WHO I WANT TO BE.
I choose to meditate, color, journal, exercise, tap, take my supplements, drink water, write, get enough sleep, etc. because I want to be the happiest and healthiest version of myself.
I choose in alignment with who I want to be. And I want to be happy, healthy, present and engaged in my life.
There are days that I am not motivated to do my morning routine. My thoughts and my feelings aren't pushing me towards choosing self-care. But I choose it anyway because it is in alignment with who I want to be and I make sure to at least do something that moves me toward that person.
We can choose this person. We can choose who we want to be. And better yet, we must choose daily the steps that move us closer to that person. What if you took just that next best step toward the happy, healthy, engaged and present person you want to be?
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Need help? In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.
Need help with substance abuse or mental health issues? In the U.S., call 800-662-HELP (4357) for the SAMHSA National Helpline.