U.S. NEWS

Pet Rescue Group Advertises 'Pre-Owned Senior Dogs' In Hilarious Post

"Are our dogs slow moving?" asks Vintage Pet Rescue. "You bet they are!"

An animal rescue group is using some new tactics to find homes for old dogs.

“Senior Dog Blowout Sale!” reads a Facebook post from Vintage Pet Rescue, a nonprofit based in Foster, Rhode Island.

“Are you in the market for a new best friend?” the post continues in a riff on the used car salesman trope.

“Everyone wants a new puppy but have you thought about a pre-owned senior dog? You haven’t? Well, what can we do to get you matched up with a certified used dog today?”

The rescue is charmingly honest about the adoptable dogs featured. That includes Jake From State Farm, who “only has one speed ― very slow;” Dillon, who “needs frequent washes;” and Fluffy, who “only makes right turns” and “may have a few mechanical issues.”

Fluffy "only makes right turns" and "may have a few mechanical issues."
Fluffy "only makes right turns" and "may have a few mechanical issues."

“Are our dogs slow moving?” the post asks. “You bet they are! Do our dogs love to nap? It’s their absolute favorite thing! Are our dogs healthy? Not really!
Will our dogs provide love and affection for the remaining months/years of their lives? We guarantee it!”

The tongue-in-cheek post was meant to draw attention to the sweet dogs who sometimes aren’t the easiest to place in homes.

“So many people want puppies, but there aren’t tons of people lined up for the one-eyed, 15-year-old, diabetic dog,” Vintage Pet Rescue founder Kristen Peralta told HuffPost in an email. “I just thought it would be a fun way to market these special, pre-loved dogs.”

Since the post went up on Monday, there’s been a big uptick in interest for the featured dogs. In fact, the only dog who hasn’t received any applications yet is Cheez-It, a Jack Russell whose photo notes that he “runs great!” and has a “clean interior” but is “not kid friendly.”

Peralta added that Cheez-It, 14, loves other dogs.

Cheez-It, a Jack Russell who "runs great!" and has a "clean interior."
Cheez-It, a Jack Russell who "runs great!" and has a "clean interior."

She added that the rescue group generally limits adopters to people who live within 100 miles of Foster, or at least “within driving distance.”

In general, Peralta is thrilled the post is getting so much attention and just wants people to look at older pets in a more positive light.

“Our main goal is to show people that senior dogs make amazing pets and companions,” she said.