Preparing Your Sons to be Respectful Members of Society is HARD WORK. Here Are Some Tips.

Preparing Your Sons to be Respectful Members of Society is HARD WORK. Here Are Some Tips.
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“Boys will be Good Humans”

“Boys will be Good Humans”

Emily Crocker Skyrm

Just two summers ago I was raising boys in the Brock Turner age. I’ll never forget spending an entire day picking up and putting down Emily Doe’s heart wrenching letter to Judge Persey. It took me all day to read, in and out of parenting, but I knew what I was reading would be life changing for my kids and myself.

Fast forward to 2017 and somehow we’ve made it to the an entirely new leave where powerful men are dropping like flies every time I look at Twitter. We are now entering the age of Weinstein and Lauer and believe it or not, this puts even more pressure on us mothers to make sure we raise boys who can treat others with the respect they deserve.

So here are a few things I’ve leaned over my short time of mothering two boys, that I hope will help you along the way.

1. No one wants or needs to see your penis - I find that little boys are really into showing people their penises. I know they are curious and that to them it is just a funny part of their body that we all make WAY to too big a deal of, but the truth is, these boys turn onto tweens and teens who think penises are a game. And for some little girls and boys, a penis can be very traumatizing. So seriously guys, no one cares about your penis, and when you’re old enough and they do and you’re into it too - go ahead and show that thing off. But for now, keep it in your pants.

2. “No means no” - This was something I remember learning in the 90’s when we were being taught how to protect ourselves from date rape before going off to college. But teaching your boys (and your girls) that no means no about EVERYTHING is a lesson that is never too early to start. If your son is asking to play with a toy and his friend says NO, then that’s it, end of story. No means no! If your child wants to bring his play date into his room and she doesn’t feel comfortable going, take her word for it man, no means no!

3. You own your body - I remember when strangers thought it was ok to touch my pregnant belly without asking. It was so strange to think some random person was touching my stomach. But of course I didn’t want to be rude and ask them not too, what kind of person does that? Actually, the kind of person who does that is a well adjusted person who understands that THEY own their body and you shouldn’t touch it without permission. But how many of us can truly claim to be “well adjusted”? We grew up in an age where you HAD to hug your parents friends even though you thought they smelled weird. It was crazy to think back then that you had any right to say “no thanks I’m gonna to sit this hug out”.

Teaching your kids that they have control over their bodies is so empowering, but it also helps them to recognize that if their own body is sacred, so are other people’s. I started asking my kids if I could give them a hug before I do and it’s actually really amazing when they give you permission. Plus it’s a great lesson for both of us.

And for God sakes, don’t repeat the mistakes of the past, DO NOT make your kids hug adults if they don’t want to.

4. Teach your boys about strong women. Women have rocked this world since day one! They have sacrificed everything to fight for their kids, their race, their country and their education and your boys NEED to know about them. “Night Time Stories of Rebel Girls" and “Rad Women Worldwide” are NOT just for girls. In fact, these should be required reading for all little boys and men. Just Google “feminist books for kids” and you’ll find lots of great stuff.

I know ladies; here we are once again reeducating the population and trying to erase some really terrible lessons fed to men and boys over the ages. But seriously, if we’re not going to do it, who the hell will?

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