We all know celebration is easier to experience than grief. Celebration is often short-lived, fun, and easy. We smile a lot, feel good, optimistic. But grief is much more challenging. It's often long-lasting, unpleasant, comes in waves, and is challenging for most of us to tolerate. A person struggling with feelings of loss and grief is no wimp. Grief is a formidable foe. It can buckle the knees of a NAVY SEAL as easy as it can a grieving parent or grieving pet owner.
As therapists, my wife and I have been hearing from many who are grieving over the election outcome. Some just a little. A few bordering on PTSD. Those of you celebrating the election outcome, that's fine. You're certainly entitled. But I'm asking you to exercise patience with those who are grieving. Many are struggling and it's going to take time. Maybe remind yourself how tough loss and grief can be.
There's no "right way" to grieve. There is just your way. All I know is people tend to feel what they feel when they feel it, for as long as they feel it. And eventually, for most, things get better.
I believe one of the most unhelpful things anyone who is celebrating can say to someone who is grieving is any form of "just get over it!" This is not only cruel, but tends to encourage just the opposite of what you want. I suggest that if you really want to help someone "just get over it" then don't say anything. Instead, just show some patience and kindness. Listen if they want to be listened to but please withhold offering unsolicited advice. Once upon a time when I was a hospice social worker, I was with a mother and father when their precious teen-age daughter passed away. A well-meaning person was also in attendance and offered this unsolicited advice to the mother who could barely breathe from the intensity of grief, "Don't worry. She's in a better place now." I watched how the mother reacted. With the choking agony of loss she was feeling, I thought she was going to collapse on the floor unable to breathe. It was probably the saddest experience I have ever been a part of and witness to.
Not for one second am I comparing the grief accompanying the loss of a child with the grief surrounding the loss of a presidential election. No. I am simply using this extreme example to point out the fact that grief is personal. Because people will do what they do, feel what they feel, and take as long as they take, I'm respectfully asking others to show compassion by exercising patience and understanding and by keeping advice to yourself. Your patient silence just may be the kindest and most helpful thing you can do.