A few days ago I took out a piece of paper and wrote at the top "My Best Year Yet."
The first half of this year threw me some challenges and curveballs that tested me, and looking back I can see that the second half of my year was spent making my own self-care priority numero uno, keeping myself happy and healthy, and then (and only then) could I (and would I) be able to thrive.
Hence the piece of paper with "My Best Year Yet" written at the top. I was obviously ready to make next year better than the last.
As I sat there with my (old school) pencil in hand staring at the paper, I started to take myself through my normal process of thinking.
In my mind, "My Best Year Yet" created mental pictures of goals around my body, my business or what I wanted to accomplish.
I also noticed that hey were all measurements that I have been using (or using something like it) to measure myself in the past.
Then all of a sudden a lightbulb switched on, and something inside of me caused me to scratch out the word 'Best' and write in 'Happiest.'
As soon as my thinking shifted to "My HAPPIEST Year Yet," it's as if more lightbulbs started coming on one by one...
Now the picture of my life became about experiences! It became about joy! And stress -- making sure there's WAY less of it in my future.
That's when it hit me:
When I'm focusing on becoming the best me, I usually focus on things outside of me. Consequently it's usually the stuff that stresses me out OR something I feel like I'm not doing a 'good enough' job of (according to my standards of course).
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INSERT: THE VOICES IN MY HEAD
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Next thing I know, one of my 'other brains' takes over, and the Geek in me was doing the thinking.
She was like: "Wait a minute! When you're stressed, you've also got stress hormones floating throughout your body -- mopping up every breathe, step, and bite you take! When you're happy though, you have happy hormones sweeping through your body -- swimming along next to every breathe, step, and bite you take."
Then the amateur psychologist, philosophical, woo-woo version of myself chimed in and said:
"This idea of 'My Best',' it's always going to be MY perception of 'my best' or MY opinion of 'the best'... or a comparison that I am making to something or someone I already know. But when I'm focusing on becoming the HAPPIEST version of myself, it becomes my own special one-in-a-million recipe. No one in this entire world has MY version of 'happy'. And the only comparing happening is to how I feel and how I WANT to feel...and how to keep heading in that direction."
After that there was a little back-and-forth between my "You should strive for your best!" voice... and my "You should strive for your happiest!" voice, and it wasn't too long before I was (POOF!) back to the present moment.
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BACK TO REALITY (AND BACK TO YOU)
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As you probably guessed judging from the first line of this article, I did eventually decide to focus on making 2016 'My Happiest Year Yet', and here's why:
Focusing on creating my HAPPIEST self forces me to rely on the internal compass that's inside of me. And that thing is firing 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year -- even on Christmas, New Years, and my Birthday.
But it's up to me to make sure I tune in!
Because happiness is personal!
Taking care of your 'happy' is also personal.
And (the way I define it) self-care means taking care of your emotional, physical, and mental happiness, so therefore self-care is also personal! (It's just math when you think about it.)
So what's my point?
What if right now and as you make your way through the New Year, you ditched becoming 'better' in any of the ways or quantifications you've used been using to measure yourself up until now (as in, completely threw all of them away)...
And simply focused on 'measuring' your happiness!
What if you focused on making this coming year Your Happiest Year Yet?
What if you loved your way happy? What if you loved your way healthy?
This is what I myself have committed to...
Because just like you, I can get bogged down measuring and 'weighing' myself on things that don't really serve me and don't make me happy.
(And trust me I've used everything from the size of my jeans, to how much I ate that day, to how much money was in my bank account...to how many 'likes' I got on something on Facebook! If there was a way to measure my Self-Worth or my success on something external, I've used it.)
We all do it. Doing 'it' isn't even a bad thing either.
Measuring and tracking and accounting for anything can be a super-powerful tool. (If you use it as a tool, not as a weapon against yourself).
But it's not about this being a 'better' or 'worse' way to set goals for yourself...
It's about using different goggles than you've been using -- ones that I kniw will make all the difference in the world in terms of how you feel every single second ...of every single day.
Easily, happily, and indefinitely.
So this is me double dogg daring you (and simultaneously double dogg daring ME!) to take a break from all your normal 'measuring sticks'...
And go make this year Your Happiest Year Yet.
I have a feeling that if you do...the rest of it will fall seamlessly into place.
Leanne Ellington is an author, a mad scientist, a storyteller, an ambidextrous hoolah-hooper, and wholeheartedly believes that peanut butter should become the fifth food group. Although her 100 lb. weight loss was her main career driver initially, major spine surgery and the face-off between her "fat head" and "skinny head" led her down the road of neuroscience, and she became a spokeswoman for women all over the world shunning "body image as usual".
She built her career off the back of her deepest personal struggles, and now she helps women take a brain-based approach to overcoming theirs. She's creator of the School for Self Care where she helps women break up with the thoughts that are holding them back, and get their mind, body, brain, and heart on the same team. She also makes a mean batch of chocolate chip cookies. You can connect with her over at http://www.LeanneEllington.com