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Progressives Angry Over Reports That Karl Rove Likes Things

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Anger, outrage and confusion spread through the progressive political community as sources close to Karl Rove began leaking a list of things that Rove reportedly likes. The list, emailed to The Politico anonymously, includes details that are disturbing to many longtime foes of the former top advisor to President Bush including that Rove approves of President-Elect Barack Obama's recent cabinet picks, that 'Bush's Brain' enjoys Jamba Juice, and that Rove loves The Hitchhiker's Guide To Galaxy, especially the old BBC radio version.

These revelations come amidst a chaotic times where both center-left Democrats and the party's traditional liberal base both really hate it when Karl Rove likes anything. Pundits took no solace that sources claim Rove was 'sorta disappointed' in the recent film adaptation of Hitchhiker's.

DailyKos founder Markos Moulitsas - speaking on the condition of the opposite of anonymity - spoke for many in the left wing blogosphere, saying "Discovering that Karl Rove thought that Obama's weekly YouTube addresses were 'smart politics' felt like a swift punch to my gut. But nothing prepared me for Rove saying that he liked The Beatles, particularly when K-K-Karl added his favorite album was The Beatles (aka The White Album) and that Clapton's solo on While My Guitar Gently Weeps often made Rove cry when he thought of the complex relationship between best friends Clapton, George Harrison and their tortured romance with Pattie Boyd." Moulitsas added, "So thanks, Karl - now you've ruined The Beatles, Clapton AND love triangles for me."

News of the Rove / Beatles development quickly spread to Heaven, where a noticeably upset John Lennon reacted by beating up a woman.

Rove couldn't be reached for comment but said through a spokesman that he was 'busy watching the DVD box set of HBO's Six Feet Under, a show that he missed the first time around but because he's so into both True Blood and Dexter, it seemed like something he should watch and he's glad he has gotten a chance to catch up with it because it's really awesome.' The spokesman added that Rove was also 'getting into' The Wire, especially the Cutty storyline.

The leak has caused many to ask if Rove, now a contributer to Fox News, is just messing with people's heads, big time. Republican strategist Marin Eisenstadt stated, "Karl Rove knows if he likes something, it's going to make people in the Democrat party go bananas."

Eisenstadt added, "Straight up bananas!"

Eisenstadt continued, "So is it possible Rove is just saying he likes things to both keep himself in the spotlight and to totally wreck stuff for other people? After Karl left the White House, he'd often quote Ani Difranco's song Gravel where she says 'Maybe you can keep me from ever being happy but you're not going to stop me from having fun', so perhaps that's what he's up to. By the way, Karl loves Ani Defranco. And Jeff Buckley and Monty Python and Roscoe's House Of Chicken n' Waffles and Patrick McGoohan's The Prisoner and all the early Coen Brothers films and Cory Doctorow's Little Brother and seeing The Roots play live."

Although not confirmed, Eisenstadt hinted that later in the week Rove may reveal that he hates Karl Rove in an attempt to make the known universe instantly implode.

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