Punchlines, Marginalization, and Human Respect

Punchlines, Marginalization, and Human Respect
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There’s this thing that happens every time I turn on the television, and most times when I’m browsing through Facebook. This thing that causes me to pause and breathe, to clench my jaw, and to remind myself of the much needed continued advocacy by so many brave individuals.

Weight has become the butt of so many jokes. I recently watched a popular late night talk show host release a video introducing a child who stated that he did not like a particular state because, and I quote, “the people there are fat.” Let’s take this coupled with the plethora of jokes around eating disorders, whether it be jokes about skeletons or about vomiting or about having an eating disorder so that immediate weight loss can take place; “just go be Anorexic for a little while!”

Now, often when I discuss this in my mission as a therapist, as an activist, as a human, I’m met with an eye roll or a comment around the irrelevance of this subject, or the idea that people should not take things so seriously, that those who find it offensive are “too sensitive.”

This hurts. Perhaps one would say that this is because I’m “too sensitive.” But what if it hurts because in reality, it means that humans are comfortable hurting others, judging others, for the sake of a laugh. For the sake of naivete. For the sake of a lack of interest in learning more about the experiences or even struggle of others. What then?

Do we laugh and encourage others to “go get chemotherapy?” Do punchlines include statements about those who have lost a limb or individuals with a mental disability? Unfortunately, this can happen at times. But writers do not feel comfortable with this. We do not feel comfortable with this. Those who do make comments about the above individuals are often called out for insensitivity.

Florian Klauer

And yet, when a character on TV is hurling insults, it’s become the norm to call another person “fat” and this is automatically understood as “bad." And this phenomenon, or the phenomenon of joking about eating disorders does not lead to the same calling out of insensitivity or discomfort by those same writers.

There has been so much progression toward inclusiveness, and there is also still a long way to go. But how can we add weight stigma, disordered eating, and eating disorders to that list of categories that need to be appropriately taught, addressed, understood, and definitely taken off the acceptable list of jokes and insults.

I believe in the value of humour. And I also believe in the value of human decency and respect. By calling someone else “fat” when wanting to be insulting, we add a negative connotation. This is just a word. Like thin, or blonde. But it has become a bad word because society uses it like a bad word. By perpetuating this use we ignore those who own their bodies and we also encourage individuals in bigger bodies to lose weight, when in reality, there is a stronger case for body acceptance and Health at Every Size.

When we joke about eating disorders, we marginalize those who struggle or who receive care, or who are unable to receive care because we make eating disorders about weight and symptoms rather than naming their true nature which is a mental illness, and one that is about so many layers deeper than a number on a scale. We also limit eating disorder to Anorexia and Bulimia when in reality, the most common eating disorders are Other Specified Feeding and Eating Disorders and Binge Eating Disorder.

“It’s a harmless joke.” Harmless is not the word I’d use. It’s an attempt, whether thought out or spur-of-the-moment, to marginalize and to make individuals feel “less than.” We don’t joke about illness but our society doesn’t hesitate to joke about mental illness. Our society doesn’t hesitate when wanting to shame someone for the way s/he looks, something inherently not shameful. It is never shameful to be a certain weight. We, as humans, must learn to respect one another and our differences, and not joke about these differences, or joke about struggles.

Weight should not be the butt of any joke. Weight is something that binds us to the earth. Our forms allow us to live in the world. To express ourselves. To create. To connect. And so the next time you find yourself about to make a joke, whether it be a micro-aggression or a full-on zinger; whether you’re a comedian(enne) or a screenplay writer, or a waiter, or a doctor, or simply you - remember that you as a human do not have permission to use weight to define others. You can think and speak freely, sure. But think about how you’d like to speak and to think as an individual living in this world, in a world where we can laugh and also respect our fellow man and womankind.

I can state that I’m an average sized woman who once had an eating disorder. I can state that I love to laugh with my clients and with my friends. And I can state my pledge to speak up. Can you?

This post is dedicated to the men and women fighting the fight and inspire me endlessly. Special thanks to the activists I met and reconnected with at the BEDA/NEDA Conference.

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