Dear Mom,
I've been trying to come up with the most eloquent way to write this. A way that will not ruin our relationship, a way that I can express how I really feel while keeping everything "tidy," everything "normal," everything wrapped in a pretty little bow. Kind of.
I'm sure this is something you are familiar with. While your parents, Grandma K and Grandpa Jack, were clearly people who came from two of the most painful childhoods in existence- you prevailed. Not only because you are creative but because they were too. Despite their tribulations, your parents were the ultimate "bow" people, which somewhat shockingly, unfortunately, surprisingly, and possibly serendipitously has helped all of us in the long run. Because despite their hardships, they created a life for you, and eventually a life for us, that many people could only dream of.
That said, I've realized, through my own pain and suffering, that sometimes the bow ain't that beautiful. The success, the money, the labels, the twenty pairs of $200 jeans- it never did anything for me, but made me feel like maybe I fit in and definitely like I had wasted a weeks worth of work. It made me question where the truth really lies, what it really means, and where it comes into our lives.
And that truth is the goddamn bow.
So, this is the solution I've come up with. It's okay to say fuck the bow. I give you permission. I give myself permission. I appreciate a good present wrappinlifeg job but let's just all agree on one thing here- the bow is simply there to make the pain look less painful. Or the shitty present look prettier. Because, well it has a bow on it. Bows are pretty but let's admit one thing, their beauty fades as quickly as the flower in the vase on our dining room table. It's beauty stands out, and then it dies.
Sure, the bow may not actually "die," nor will the meaning behind it, but we will all (or at least most of us will) throw them in the trash and prepare for next year. Because while every year will have its difficulties, sometimes you need to put a bandaid on a bruise... and sometimes that bandaid might be a bow.