Quiz: Which Time-Sucking Yet Irresistible Internet Article Are You?

Shirk your responsibilities and answer these questions to find out!

Your greatest fear is:

a.) getting stroke-face from bad Botox
b.) choking on sawdust
c.) that all your friends Argon
d.) the your/you're atrocity
e.) people thinking you're normal

For a good time you might:

a.) tweet a duck-faced #selfie
b.) soak a cedar plank
c.) Iron your clothes
d.) Travoltify your name
e.) not wear pants

At work, you're best described as someone who:

a.) looks "well-rested" and/or "like Madonna"
b.) fishes for compliments
c.) takes care of Bismuth
d.) polices grammar
e.) forwards YouTube videos of idiots

Your favorite body part is:

a.) whatever's newest, obvi
b.) your mouth
c.) Uranium
d.) your temporal lobe
e.) anything that can simulate a fart sound

When it comes to matters of the heart, you:

a.) are good at turning the other cheek implant
b.) are looking for a good catch
c.) always try to Copper feel
d.) dangle only consensual modifiers
e.) hey, heart rhymes with fart!

If you chose mostly Cs, you're Which Chemical Element Are You?

If you chose mostly Ds, you're 27 Things Your Parents Call By The Wrong Name

If you chose mostly Es, you're 42 People You Won't Believe Actually Exist

Read more from Jolie Jenkins on her blog, Joeycake.