Like many parents, Rainn Wilson is a fan of tweeting the hilarious parts of life with his kid.
The actor and his wife, Holiday Reinhorn, have a teenage son named Walter. Over the years, Wilson, star of “The Office,” has shared funny quotes, anecdotes and jokes about parenting Walter.
In honor of his Jan. 20 birthday, we’ve rounded up 30 funny parenting tweets from Wilson.
What's cuter? The ice dancers or the fact that my son calls them 'finger skaters?'
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) February 9, 2014
"Who's Kevin?", my son asked when he heard Dylan's 'Knockin' on Heavens Door' the first time.
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) July 10, 2010
My 11 year old son just tried to teach me that “discrete" and “discreet" are 2 words with 2 separate meanings. Idiot.
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) April 18, 2016
My son just announced that he's a Yankees fan. Anybody want a nice, white 6 year old?
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) June 20, 2011
My son Walter was very excited to get to Israel and see the Dead Sea Squirrels. #truestory
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) January 6, 2011
When asked what he wanted to be when he grew up, my son told me: 'lizard protector'.
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) October 12, 2010
I invented "dad bod".
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) April 30, 2015
My son has become obsessed w/@BonIver. He's 12. Full beard & flannel by 16.
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) September 26, 2016
My son just asked me if I was in World War II. #oldmanwilson
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) June 5, 2012
There is a popular mall in LA called 'The Grove'. My son calls it 'The Grave'- which seems more appropriate.
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) June 21, 2010
My son just told me I look like a fat "Wolverine."
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) March 12, 2016
"why did the chicken cross the playground?" A: "to get his underwear." -Walters first made-up joke. It killed. Feel free to use it.
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) January 21, 2010
Walter: "Dada, wouldn't it be funny if the 2nd best player in the NBA were named 'James LeBron'?
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) December 1, 2012
Brad Garrett performed 'Thriller'' onstage at my son's elementary with the 3rd graders. #onlyinLA
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) October 29, 2010
In case you're wondering, my son can do the entire ABCs song in fart noises.
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) July 8, 2012
My son Walter plays soccer the way Ferdinand the Bull bull-fights.
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) March 15, 2010
My son asked me why dogs and horses didn't have butt cracks & I really didn't have an answer.
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) June 4, 2010
My son caught a Pokemon in our pig pen. I'm not kidding. #PokemonGo
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) July 12, 2016
My son learns all his swear words from watching Rex Ryan on 'Hard Knocks'.
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) September 6, 2010
When I die I want my son to have my heirloom tomatoes.
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) October 29, 2011
I taught my son what U.F.O. stood for & what acid was on the same day. #fatherhoodrules
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) February 24, 2010
My son got 3 pet crawdads for his fish tank. He named them Big John, Don and Super Don. #crawdads
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) August 6, 2010
If my son ever asks you for a password, 9 times out of 10 it's 'Mario,' 'Yoshi' or 'Luigi.'
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) June 19, 2011
Introducing ones son to Jonathan Richman & the Modern Lovers is perhaps the greatest joy & privilege of fatherhood.
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) February 12, 2013
Walter “plague doctor” Wilson wins Halloween! pic.twitter.com/kKQV1l7OpZ
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) October 31, 2017
Sometimes I feel bad about myself & then I just tell my son that he will never amount to anything & I feel better.
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) February 17, 2011
Found out my son is in the class of '23. Class of 23 rooolz!!!
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) September 24, 2010
My son's 6th birthday and he gets head lice!! Happy birthday, Walter. Love, God.
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) September 30, 2010
Me: Walter, you bring my life happiness. Walter: I know.
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) October 11, 2010
Walter: Are we there yet? Me: we are always there yet.
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) July 6, 2012
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