It enrages me when I see people post stupid memes and comments; half joking but mostly serious; about Trump and "these" women who are coming forward. And "how convenient it is." Over and over (Bill Cosby, Jian Ghomeshie, etc.) we continue to ask these women who were assaulted to "prove" the crime against them. We continue to perpetuate rape culture by doing this. And support the man.
Show me your scars we say. Just deal with it and live with it we taunt. Where is your proof? We demand with our privileged noses looking down on them. Yet we demand no blood or proof from their assailants. And then we allow this conversation to continue. On social media. In our homes. At our workplaces. And then gaslight the people that chose to take a stand against us and tell them "it's fine; I'm just kidding, don't get your panties in a knot."
And I can hear you as you read this. Scroll on by your whispering to me. It really isn't that important. But what your really saying is "don't get involved. It isn't a big deal."
But I have to. And it is a big deal. Because this is exactly why victims continue to NOT come forward.
Swallow your pride instead of the BS our society continues to feed you about victims that come forward.
I was 14 and he was 17. I was a virgin. When he asked me if I liked it I said nothing. Staring at the poster on his wall I just lay there praying for it to end. He kept going. He stopped asking if I liked it.
Did you cringe as you read those words? Did a small part of you wonder if "I deserved it?" Does it matter what I was wearing, or how I was acting? Will you look at me differently? Do you even believe me?
I tried to explain rape culture to my 6-year-old son in a way that made sense. They already knew Trump was a racist; but how do I explain sexual assault to my children. So I tried. "He hurt women very badly. And touched them in a way no one ever should. And then; when these women decided to tell someone about it; people didn't believe them." With a look of shock my son responds "Oh mom, that would hurt so much. For people not to believe someone hurt you" and that's it. That's why I never spoke up. Because the "shame tapes" in my head were already so loud; that just telling someone turned the volume up even more. And if someone were to call me a liar; it would have gutted me to the core. I was already so raw on the inside.
So does it makes sense why your coarse joking on my Facebook feed pisses me off? Because I know I'm not alone. I know people read your smart ass rape culture perpetuating comments and think, "Yep. I ain't saying a thing about what happened to me." So everyone stays silent. While the rich get richer and more powerful. And usually more white.
So swallow your pride instead of the BS our society continues to feed you about victims that come forward. Do your research about how only 2% of rape and related sex charges are determined to be false (Stanford University) and had these women said Trump robbed them over assaulting them, we would have demanded his head on a stick.
I'm barely scratching the surface on this one. I'm basically a small thread in this web of insanity that our society has created. The web of chaos that has spun out of control with lack of support we provide victims of rape and assault. I'm no one special. But I do believe these women. I won't ask for proof and force them to relive their scars and pain. I also won't scroll on by. I can't. And I hope you won't either.