I was sitting at lunch with several of my guy friends when a girl in our class walked by. When she was far away enough to no longer hear us, one of my friends asked if we thought she was hot. Another friend instantly replied, “She’s kind of ugly, but I’d still rape the sh*t out of her.”
Even with a newly elected tyrannical leader and alarming foreign affairs, sexual assault still remains one of the most destructive issues plaguing our society. In fact, an American is sexually assaulted every 98 seconds. Although movements and organizations have been created with the sole purpose to eliminate this seemingly ever-present rape culture, it remains a dominant part of American society. Why are we unable to get rid of rape culture?
Simply put: Men. But it’s a little more complex than that.
“As a man, I witness rape culture thriving all around me.”
Men are the most common perpetrators of the heinous acts. In fact, 60 to 99 percent of rape and sexual assault is committed by men. As a man, I witness rape culture thriving all around me. In my school, in my community, in my friends, and even in myself I see rape culture every day. Whether it’s a rape joke or blatant sexism, it’s present. Rape culture exists, and it’s not on the decline. I mean, we just elected a man who has admitted to committing sexual assault to the highest office in the nation, so it’s obviously not going to disappear any time soon.
Men — who are expected to be emotionless aggressors — produce this distorted, preconceived notion that we’re entitled to women’s bodies. We’re inherently taught to be sexually aggressive even if it comes to destroying the mental, physical, and emotional well-beings of women. But these societal, gender role expectations are not to blame for our almost-systemic sexual misconduct. We, as men, are entirely responsible for the sickening, dehumanizing actions we commit that expand rape culture.
Men who commit sexual assault and rape don’t deserve to be referred to as men. Men are supposed to represent strength, responsibility, accountability, and courage; rapists don’t represent those qualities in the slightest. We, as a gender, are responsible for ruining millions of people’s lives via sexual assault and rape, yet we refuse to be held accountable for our actions. I’m not saying that all men are rapists, but I am saying that we as men need to take responsibility for the actions of rapists and proactively work to prevent them from happening again.
So men, I make a plea to you: Do better. We can begin to reverse the expansion of rape culture by being better men and by holding ourselves and each other accountable. There is so much we can do to stop rape culture. One of the most important things we can do is learn about consent. There is no excuse for not understanding when consent is given and when it’s not. Look up sexual assault statistics. They are all eye-opening to how enormous an issue that rape culture has become and how many people it affects. Also, stop making rape jokes; they’re not funny… at all. We also need to acknowledge our unconscious entitlement to women’s bodies and make a conscious effort to reverse it. Women’s bodies aren’t objects for us to use whenever we please.
Moreover, protect your female friends from men who joke about rape and sexual assault because those kinds of men aren’t safe for anyone to be around. We also need to call out other men who perpetuate rape culture via objectification or rape jokes. Hold them accountable for their unacceptable habits. And if you ever come across what seems like rape or sexual assault, intervene. Even if it’s against “bro code”, it’s not worth letting an innocent girl have her life ruined by a worthless scumbag.
Men are the problem when it comes to rape culture, but we’re also the solution. We have the ability bring an end to the increasingly intrusive rape culture. I see it everywhere, and you probably do too. It’s grown to an extent that is no longer acceptable. So men: it’s time we man up and hold ourselves accountable for rape culture.
Need help? Visit RAINN’s National Sexual Assault Online Hotline or the National Sexual Violence Resource Center’s website.