The divorce rate in this country is approximately 50% and is seems to have become more commonplace that people are willing to get a divorce for a myriad of reasons, instead of working things out. There are some good arguments for couples staying together, and there are a number of reasons that make a strong argument for divorce. It might be a good idea to look at what are thought to be strong arguments for and against divorce. By doing so, you can compare the issues you are having, if this is a course of action that you are contemplating. Here are some reasons to stick things out and work on the relationship, as well as reasons that perhaps it is time to consider an amicable end to the relationship.
Some good reasons to consider working on the relationship and stay together:
- You have a family. It is of course better for everyone involved to maintain an intact family, IF you are able to find a way to work through your issues and set a good example for your children of what a healthy relationship can look like.
- Believe it or not, divorce has health implications. Since stress plays a role in illness, it would only make sense that splitting up would cause or exacerbate symptoms of an underlying illness. If you decide to split, make sure you are attending to good self-care and reduced stress levels.
- The financial burden of supporting your own household may not be a reality. While it may not seem like a great reason, a romantic reason, or even a good reason, many couples find a way to work things out because they cannot financially swing things on their own. They need to put the interests of all parties involved into consideration, and decide on a quality of life and standard of living.
- There are good characteristics of the other person that caused you to fall in love with them in the first place. If you think it is possible to tap into those thoughts and feelings again, it is worth exploring and doing the work.
Reasons that divorce might be the best option for you:
- Infidelity: some people are able to heal and move past infidelity, while others feel that it is a make or break issue. If you know you are someone who cannot forgive the person, and that you feel that the relationship is not worth trying to save, divorce might be the best option.
- Violence: if your partner is physically violent with you, frequently emotionally abusive, and consistently hurts you in any kind of way, this may not be a good or safe relationship for you to stay in. Your safety is always first, so if this person is dangerous to be around, this relationship is not one for you.
- Addiction: while addiction is a disease, and people should be allowed an opportunity to try to get help and get sober, if the person continually refuses to get help, has let the addiction take over their life, and is a physical, financial, and emotional threat to you and your family, this is not a relationship you can be in at this time. However, if they end up getting treatment, it is not to say that you cannot reconsider.
- Mistreatment of your children. Children should always come first, and they are not able to make decisions and protect themselves in the way that you are. If your partner is being consistently or seriously abusive to them, in any manner, you should be the one that is strong enough to put their needs first, and remove them from the situation until the partner is willing to change and/or get help. If they are not willing, that is their choice, not yours.
Hopefully this highlights some good reasons to stay in a marriage and work on it, and reasons that you should leave the relationship, where love may not be enough. You have to consider love for self, love and safety of any children, love of the other person, and above all things, safety.