Recipient of 3 French Hens, 2 Turtle Doves, and a Partridge in a Pear Tree Unsure What to Do With All These F*cking Birds

"Am I supposed to like, eat them? Or what?"

Rebecca Adams has been left dumbfounded by the gift choices from her supposed "true love." Over the past week, her boyfriend began something he called the "Twelve Days Of Christmas," in which he's provided four calling birds, three french hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree, none of which she asked for.

"I've never expressed any interest in birds, or growing a pear tree for that matter. This is getting ridiculous."

Ms. Adams stated that she hasn't slept at all this week, as the birds have engaged in constant cooing.

"I have work. I can't just constantly be tending to an abundance of birds. I'm going to lose my job at this rate."

This morning, her boyfriend provided her with five golden rings.

"I mean, they're lovely and all, but I have to pawn them so I can afford the four different kinds of bird feed I now have to buy."

In addition to financial struggles, Rebecca may soon find herself without an apartment, as her landlord has explicitly stated that pets are not allowed. Still, Rebecca feels it would be awkward to express displeasure with her current gift situation, and has remained silent.

"Does anyone celebrate Christmas for twelve days straight? I mean he is Peruvian or something, but I don't think they celebrate Christmas there for twelve days there either."