I don't know about you, but there have been a few things that I've regretted about my past: the chances I didn't take; the opportunities I passed on; relationships that, even though toxic, I stayed in hoping things would change. The time I wasted on the wrong person; the people I was afraid to get close to; and the decisions I waited too long to make.
We tell ourselves If Only...
If Only... the two saddest words in my opinion.
Sad, because we're nostalgic about a past that has come and gone, for which we now have absolutely no control over. Relationships that we wish didn't end so badly, the one we let go and the one we should have never been involved with in the first place, the wrong career path, the education we deemed not as important in our youth, and money mistakes that in hindsight were made just because we didn't pay attention to the yellow alerts that were all around us.
We believe that our relationships, work and health could have been handled differently if only so-and-so acted a certain way, if only the obstacles in our way were not there, or if only we had protected our savings better.
Some of the common regrets many of us have are:
1. I wish I had been the bigger person and resolved my family conflicts, disagreements and quarrels sooner
2. I wish I had studied harder and worked for that college degree
3. I wish I had made a different career choice
4. I wish I hadn't squandered my money on frivolous items and saved more for my retirement
5. I wish I had paid more attention to my intuition when it was telling me something was seriously wrong
6. I wish I had left that abusive relationship sooner
7. I wish I had spent more time with my children
8. I wish I had taken better care of my health
9. I wish I had made more time for my friends
10. I wish I had played a more active role in my community
11. I wish I was brave enough to pursue my dreams instead of living the life others expected of me
12. I wish I had not been so obsessed with my work and taken more vacations
13. I wish I had the courage to air my grievances without worrying about being judged
14. I wish I had spoken my mind instead of holding back and feeling resentful
15. I wish I had known earlier that happiness is always a choice
16. I wish I had said 'I Love You' more
Whatever you're going thru and beating yourself up about today, know that everything that has happened in your life, everyone that has been part of your life and is no more, there were no mistakes. You are who you are today because of everything you have gone thru. Your experiences, traumas and heartaches, were not all for naught.
You are unique and so are your experiences, both past and present. You had, and are having them now because you have something to learn from them. Rather than pointing a finger at others or at your circumstances, realize that you are one hundred percent responsible for your life and your choices. This realization and acceptance will save you a lot of unnecessary suffering.
We all have a choice: to act a certain way, to stay or to leave, to refuse or to accept, to love or to walk away. You have learnt now, and you will know better when an obstacle crosses your path on how to react, what decisions to make, and which path to take. You have become a stronger person today because of all you have gone thru.
As long as there is breath in you, be sure to make time to reach for your dreams. Allow your dreams to be pure. Be you. Today is as good a day as any. You will never be ready for whatever, or whoever it is you're waiting for. Start working toward your dreams now. Don't keep putting things off until it becomes too late.
Instead of living in the "If Only..." mindset, how about turning it around slowly to the positive possibilities of "What If...?"
And ultimately replace that with "Hell Yeah!"
"What if I fall?"
Oh, but my darling
What if you fly?
© Rani St. Pucchi, 2016
For more information please visit www.ranistpucchi.com