Even the strongest relationships can run into a rut. Whether you've been with your partner for months or decades, these four tips that experts shared on #OWNSHOW can help you reconnect and reignite the passion that brought you together in the first place.
According to psychologist Alexandra H. Solomon, one of the most important things couples can do is refuse to become complacent or take the relationship for granted. In other words, it's crucial to view each other with fresh eyes. To do this, Solomon suggests forcing yourselves out of a rut by changing your routine.
"If you're going for weeks and weeks and weeks, and the only way you're experiencing each other is in the kitchen [or] in the living room, I really encourage couples to shake it up," she says. "Put yourselves literally in a different context."
Kissing is key, says Dr. Lauren Streicher, an OBGYN and relationship author.
"We all know there's a big difference between kissing your Great Aunt Matilda on the cheek and getting it over with as quickly as you can, versus the tongue-to-tonsils making out intimacy that is, of course, very sexual," she says. "Kissing and kissing and kissing like you never want to stop is sometimes the most sexual thing you can do!"
Everyone needs their own personal time to relax and recharge occasionally, but sexual educator Dr. Debbie Herbenick also stresses the importance of relaxing together. This often allows couples the opportunity to better connect, which Herbenick says can really jump-start the passion.
"We hear about it all the time in research that it's that relaxation intimacy that matters to sex drive," she says.
4. Touch and make eye contact.
Making a physiological connection isn't just a powerful way to reignite the passion, Solomon says, it's also quite simple.
"When couples hold hands, turn toward each other and make eye contact, it's very difficult to feel disengaged," she points out. "It just kind of kicks off this whole... physiological process, reminding us who the other person is. It can kind of get the juices flowing and get couples started on the road to reconnection."
Bonus tip: Instead of reaching for a bottle of ibuprofen next time you get a headache, research suggests that having sex may be the cure you're looking for.
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