Replying to J. Crew's Emails: "Because We Heart You...Free Shipping"

J.,...I think we need to talk. You know how much I like you. I did right from the start, ever since "First Look at Fall, 2006." All those plaids and flannels--it was intense!
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J.,

I think we need to talk. You know how much I like you. I did right from the start, ever since "First Look at Fall, 2006." All those plaids and flannels--it was intense! (With $98 cashmere v-necks, how could it not be?) I was young and you taught me a lot--the superiority of flat fronts over pleats, how calling a t-shirt "essential" justifies an extra $38.00, how I don't just like blue, I like aquamarine. I'll always cherish those memories, but...you're moving too fast. It's over.

I mean, you "heart" me? Just because you used "heart" instead of "love" doesn't mean I don't get it. Save that kind of manipulation for selling Secret Wash Polos--I deserve better! And Free Shipping? Thanks, but unlike your Bowery Messenger Bag, I'm not for sale. I told you I needed some time...some space to think, and what did you do? Catalogs twice a week and non-stop e-mails--you're suffocating me! Of course the 20% off orders over $150 is tempting, but I can't keep making the same mistake over and over again. I'm feeling pressured. Did you really think I wouldn't see the link to the "Weddings and Parties" page in your last message? Real subtle!

I just don't "heart" you back, and I don't think it's fair to lead you on. And you might as well know--I've started seeing American Apparel. Yes, I know that may be a little young for me, but I've started to feel things again I never thought I would or could. Things about hoodies.

Unsubscribe,

John

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