Let’s talk about 2016 for a second. Everyone jokes that 2016 was the worst year ON RECORD. Sure, this year was a son of a bitch. But if you take a second to reflect the entiiiire year, you will remember the highs, along with the lows. That being said, a new year is upon us. At the birth of every new year, some of us make resolutions, some of us make goals, and some of us continue on as if it were just any other day. Typically, I look at New Years Eve as a time to make out with strangers, drink champagne, and take a few days off from work. (Kidding! Mostly…) I don’t usually look at it as a new beginning because the holidays haven’t always been the best time for me. I have lost a lot of people in my life, and a new year alive is enough reason to be happy - no need to make “resolutions”.
But this coming year, I decided to make some goals. I have listened to friends make resolutions, and after about 2 months… say “fuck that resolution – it’s too hard”, and really, who has time to make a kale smoothie for breakfast every day? (Let’s be honest - I tried it, it’s pretty much lettuce soda, and now I know why they come to the “fuck that resolution” conclusion.) Goals seem to be more achievable because they aren’t a plan to completely change your life. Making changes is hard. But striving TOWARD something is inspiring. To say, “I am going to lose 50 lbs by the end of the year!” – to me just sounds like “I’m going to give up taco bell for a year!”. And again, fuck that resolution… (To live without dollar menu bean and rice burritos is a travesty). But to say “I am going to try to clean up my eating habits and treat my body better” is a goal that has less pressure, more achievability, and maybe a healthier amount of Taco bell than you previously deemed acceptable.
Now since food is life, and I can’t live without tacos, my goals for 2017 are as follows - Do more. See more. Be more. I say this because I have never been anywhere but Disney world, and the greater New England area. A lot of things have held me back from growing and maturing the same way most people get to, so the thought of traveling scares the crap out of me. Yes I know this sounds absurd for most people, but I’m not most people. I’m me, and can’t apologize with how my life has shaped me. All I can do is make some goals starting in 2017. So I have solidified plans to travel, allowed others to lend their expertise to help grow my businesses, partnered with new people on projects, and its only 5 days into January!
2016 was an eye opening year for me. I learned a lot about the people in my life - I learned who my real friends and family are, who would be there for me when I need them, who had good hearts, or who had no heart at all. I fell in love. I felt magic. I saw sunsets and sunrises that made me think I was the luckiest person to be experiencing that moment. I slow danced. I slowed down. Way down – and meditated on my feelings. A lot. I felt betrayed. I got yelled at. I got into text fights. I saw countless things go wrong for people I cared deeply about. I was one of the things that went wrong in some people’s lives I cared deeply about. I had brunch for the first time! I was kind to people I didn’t know, and/or that deserved kindness, and karma smiled back on me. I realized that some friends only want to be around you when they are getting something out of it. I found out not everyone you work with has your back. I learned people will use you and not be appreciative of what you have done for them. I felt left out by some, and felt at home with others. I finally opened up on social media on Memorial Day about an ex-boyfriend/best friend who committed suicide 3 years ago. Which leads me to – I learned how to let people in. (Not just on social media.) I let myself to cry in front of people that wanted to know me better. I watched my dog have surgery knowing she may not wake up from it, and then almost had a seizure in the vet’s office when she came out of it okay. (Stress wreaks havoc on an epileptic!). I got my first speeding ticket in 10 years. I appealed it, and won! Woohoo! I went on a jetski for the first time. I saw concerts, and live music, and raves, and shooting stars. I started writing for the Huffington Post (heyyyyyyy!)… I almost moved to Florida. I didn’t move to Florida… I realized by the end of the year that not moving to Florida was a good decision, after debating that fact a bunch… although I hate the cold and dammit why is it so cold here???!! I digress. I had a bunch of successful fashion shows, and some viral videos. I was involved in things I cared about, and people helped me with things I cared about because they cared about me.
My point is – for all of the ups and downs of the year, a new one came. And when it did, I felt really positive about making goals as opposed to resolutions this week. A resolution is a firm decision to do or not to do something. I think that life is more fluid and unpredictable than that. So not that you need to take my advice AT ALL, (who the hell am I? Just some crazy lady with a killer weave and a pretty sharp wardrobe, nbd.), but in actually really analyzing my year as a whole, I found that not having a firm decision led me to a lot of revelations about myself, the world, and people around me. My advice to anyone who is struggling with finding a resolution this year - I say screw these resolutions. Think about the things that make you feel truly good inside, and set goals that will give you that same feeling. And then, keep striving once you have reached your goals, and keep setting new ones. Don’t put so much pressure on your year, so that at the end of it you feel like the year failed you if you didn’t accomplish everything. If you are lucky, you will have a chance to really look back on all the goals you achieved with your 365 days of 2017, and realize that each new year brings a wiser, stronger you. WOOHOOO NEW YEAR!