Resting Dick Face: The Male Equivalent of Resting Bitch Face

RBF has been all over the internet as of late. I myself suffer from a serious case of "Resting Bitch Face." I have been asked numerous times, "What's wrong, why are you so upset?" Only to respond, "That's just my face, I'm fine." RBF apparently plagues many women from all walks of life. I recently read an article in the New York Times, explaining that men with stern faces, and longing looks are distinguished. I disagree. I believe that men suffer as well. I know this because my husband suffers from what I have deemed "Resting Dick Face."

"Resting Dick Face" causes the face to squint and scowl, looking grouchy and constipated. RDF is usually prompted by the following situations:

*Asking for help with the kids.
*Asking for help with the dishes.
*Asking for help with the laundry.
*Spending time with the in-laws.
*Spending time with the wife's friends.
*Listening to the wife/girlfriend talk about her day.
*Interrupting ESPN.
*Interrupting an NBA game.
*Interrupting an NFL game.
*Interrupting a PGA event.
*Interrupting a 30 for 30 special.
*Clothes shopping.
*Shoe shopping.
*Purse shopping.
*Home decor shopping.
*Event planning (Other then Super Bowl)
*Denying sex due to a headache.
*Denying sex due to your period.
*Denying sex due to exhaustion.
*Denying sex simply to deny sex.

There is hope. There are several known cures for RDF. They include golfing, fishing, drinking with friends, and watching Sports Center. The most effective and fastest cure for RDF is sexual intercourse, but oral sex will work if you are short on time.

So women, be aware that your man may suffer from RDF. Take a deep breath and know you are not alone. It isn't necessary to seek medical attention right away. You can simply ask him to wipe that nasty look off his face and finish putting the kids to bed. He can pout on the couch later.

Meredith is a work-from-home mother of three who writes about the inappropriate side of marriage and motherhood on her blog at That's Inappropriate Follow her on Facebook and Twitter.