Today, Ted Haggard, the newly resigned leader of the 14,000 member New Life Church in Colorado Springs, admitted to asking male prostitute Ralph Jones to score him some meth for curiosity's sake and asking for a "massage". It is just a matter of time before the rest of the sordid truth unfolds. Rumor has it that the gay community in Colorado Springs has known about Rev. Ted for years and that he not only has had sex with gay prostitutes, but has also had a ten-year long affair with one of his male aides, and has come on inappropriately to many young staffers. Déjà vu, anyone?
Yesterday Rev. Haggard was asked by CNN if he had ever met a gay man or woman and he said he had no knowledge of ever meeting a homosexual, that he was not gay, and had a perfectly happy marriage. Watch this video and tell me he isn't lying.
What people may not know is that Ted Haggard is George Bush's spiritual advisor. We do know that Haggard has weekly conference calls with that great exploiter of homophobia, Karl Rove. But Colorado Springs locals say he flies to Washington several Mondays a month to pray with the president. First there was Foley, then Sherwood, now Haggard. Of course, before that there was Abramoff, Reed, and Cunningham. Oh, and don't forget Swaggart and Baker and so on. The list is endless.
Is Mercury coming out of retrograde? Is Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds? Perhaps Kafka has become God, but like Borat exposing America's surreal topsy-turvy world, the house of GOP cards has fallen flat. Our only hope to set the country back on track is to vote Democratic next week. Let's just pray to Kafka that the electorate gets it right. And that, by some miracle, the votes are properly counted.