Rob Lowe is at peace with his role as a father.
The actor and his wife, Sheryl, have two grown sons, Matthew Edward and John Owen. Since becoming a parent in 1993, Lowe has opened up about his approach to raising kids in a number of interviews.
In honor of his birthday, we’ve rounded up 15 parenting quotes from Lowe.
On Discipline
“I don’t mean this to be the kind [of] story where you compare yourself to others, but our way of doing it was was by being truly involved, in the trenches, focused on academics and discipline. We were the most discipline-oriented parents of anyone in their peer group. I don’t feel like we were a police force, but to hear them tell it ... we kept them on a tight leash.”
On What He’s Most Proud Of As A Dad
“For sure, my relationship with my sons. Now that they’re older, they don’t need so much discipline. I can lean into the friendship. I love having that time with them, talking about work, about jobs, career advancement and strategizing and going out golfing or going to a Dodgers game. It’s the best relationship I could hope for.”
On Getting Trolled By His Sons
“I raised two trolls. They live to troll me. They know me too well. ... What are you gonna do? I get away with nothing. ... I’m Dad. Even when I should give it back to them, I just can’t bring myself to do it.”
On Being A Famous Dad
“Show business is actually my job, and my kids truly see it as my job. Every once in a while, they get flabbergasted that I’m famous. They’re like, ‘Dad! You know Jim Carrey?’ Truthfully, they don’t get it. ... Not everybody is in show business where my kids grew up, and they see that the world is so much bigger than that.”
On Sending His Kids To College
“I was not prepared at all for the level of emotion I was going to feel dropping my first son off at college. I knew it would be bittersweet. I had no idea how affected I would be. The irony is I was so emotional over something so good. This is the good news. All the grades, all the homework, all the tutors, all the guidance, and it’s all paid off. Why am I feeling so devastated?”
On His Career Advice For His Kids
“It’s a cliché, but it’s the best one: Find a job you love and you’ll never work a day in your life. It’s a good one. They haven’t found it yet.”
On Balance
“I’d like to think we got the balance of love and wanting to be their friends right. They don’t need friends. They need parents. That’s the way we did it and, knock on wood, I’m really proud of who’ve they become.”
On The Cycles Of Life As A Parent
“One of the great gifts of my life has been having my boys, Matthew and John Owen, and through them, exploring the mysterious, complicated and charged bond between fathers and sons. As my wife, Sheryl, and I raised them, I have discovered the depth of our relationship and the love and loss that flowed between my father and me. After my parents’ divorce, when I was 4, I spent weekends with my dad in Ohio. By the time Sunday rolled around, I was incapable of enjoying the day’s activities because I was already dreading the inevitable goodbye of the evening. Now, standing among Matthew’s accumulation of possessions, I realize it’s me who has become a boy again. All my heavy-chested sadness, loss and longing to hold on to things as they used to be are back, sweeping over me as they did when I was a child.”
On Protecting His Family
“You have to be willing to make some sacrifices. I moved my kids out of Los Angeles, immediately. I’ve lived in Santa Barbara for 20 years almost. I’ve had my picture taken there three times.”
On Being A Present Parent
“I just got early on that my boys were going to be my life’s work. I loved coaching the teams. I loved going on the field trips. I am the guy dressing up in, you know, the caveman outfit for the kids’ birthday parties.”
On Parenting Values
“We valued intellectual curiosity and grades. Academic accountability was huge.”
On Reminiscing On His Kids’ Childhoods
“I think of all the times we lay among the covers reading, first me to him, ‘Goodnight Moon’ and ‘The Giving Tree,’ and later him to me: my lines from ‘The West Wing’ or a movie I was shooting. The countless hours of the History Channel and ‘Deadliest Catch.’ I look at the bed and think of all the recent times I was annoyed at how late he was sleeping. I’ll never have to worry about that again, I realize.”
On His Past Drug Abuse
“They knew everything about me from day one. But there’s a whole area of things that’s none of their business. And the reason it’s none of their business is because it’s not going to help them. We’re all entitled to our own history. We don’t have to be an open book for our kids.”
On Boundaries
“We used to keep M&Ms in a beautiful vase on the coffee table. You should be able to have a bowl of candy sitting in your living room and not have your kids run amok on it. Anytime they wanted some, they could ask Mommy and Daddy. But they knew not to take things that didn’t belong to them. I would walk into other people’s houses and there would [be] toys everywhere, all over the floor. Our kids didn’t get to put their toys all over the house. They could have their toys in their bedrooms. You have to establish your boundaries.”
On Being At Peace With His Parenting
“I put in the time. I did it. I can’t imagine what it would be like to have guilt around that and then have your kids have problems in adulthood. That would be devastating to me. I mean, everybody’s going to go through challenges but at least Sheryl and I know that we did truly the best we could.”
