Romney Loans Clinton $30 Million, Citing Bin Laden

Cheering members of the Conservative Political Action Committee were shocked today by withdrawing Republican presidential hopeful Willard "Mitt" Romney's surprise announcement that he was going to release 30 million of his dollars to Democratic Presidential aspirant Hillary Clinton.

"I was the only candidate to run a business," said Romney, an openly weeping talk radio host Laura Ingraham at his side. "Thirty million dollars, at 7 percent interest, is good business, plain and simple. It will stimulate the economy. It will create jobs. It will put money in the hands not of government bureaucrats, but of real people -- people who make the negative ads, who spin the pundits, who poll the voters."

Anticipating conservative critics concerned that Romney's support of Clinton "will help radical Islamist Jihadist terrorists," Romney contended that "the more time Clinton has to fight Obama, and the more time Obama has to fight Clinton, the better shot John McCain will have to give George W. Bush a third term."

"Thirty million dollars is chump change to Mitt Romney," said billionaire New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg, who has flirted with an independent presidential bid. "He's already spent that much for a pair of flip-flops."