Romney Secretly Endorses Rubio in Devil's Bargain

A newly reinvigorated Marco Rubio took Donald Trump to task on Trump's dismal business record at the Super Tuesday Republican debate. How did he do it? With Mitt Romney secretly leading the way

Earlier that day, out of the range of cameras, the elder Romney gave the younger Rubio his political blessing and the keys to demolishing the candidacy of Donald Trump. In a devil's bargain exchange, Rubio gave his youth to the 68-year old Romney.

Rubio's aides were shocked. "After losing in Iowa, New Hampshire and South Carolina, we have to take desperate measures to keep the campaign alive," Rubio explained as his carotid artery clogged.

The morning after the debate, Rubio was ecstatic at a press conference. "Trump is a con man," he bellowed, as his youth slowly began flowing away. But the Rubio campaign was back in business.

Romney, standing in the rear of the auditorium, smiled approvingly. With Rubio's every aggressive word about Trump's taxes, the frail Romney became more and more energetic as the youthful vitality drained from Rubio's body and coursed through Romney's veins.

An hour after the press conference, Rubio was stoop shouldered and walking with a cane as his arthritic hands labored to flash a "V for victory" sign in front of his now-toothless smile. Rubio, who would have been 45 years old on inauguration day, 10 years older than the minimum to serve as President, was now 53.

Romney, as he arrived at the airport to go back home to Boston, vaulted a chain link fence like a 40-year-old to get to his waiting jet, emblazoned with his trademark "1%" logo.

Sources inside Romney's camp confided that if Rubio falters and Donald Trump becomes the GOP nominee, the newly reinvigorated Romney plans a third-party presidential run as the "Youth candidate".

But the joke's on Romney: on Inauguration Day, He'll be 25, too young to serve.