Last month's royal wedding inspired unforgettable memories for millions and, it seems, just as many crappy souvenirs.
One of the more bizarre royal-themed collectibles are the "Crown Jewels," a line of condoms created to "honor" the royal nuptials in the most tasteless way possible.
Each box of the royal rubbers contains three "lavishly lubed" and "regally ribbed" prophylactics, according to the box.
It's hard to put a price on such a souvenir, but travel writer and The Huffington Post blogger Doug Lansky doesn't have a problem putting a label on this product: Pure crap!
Lansky is uniquely qualified to make this declaration since he's the man behind CrapSouvenirs.com, a website dedicated to memorializing the sorts of souvenirs that are excessively tasteless, tacky, vulgar or just plain bizarre.
The site features photos of some of the strangest -- and most useless products -- ever offered for sale -- the Royal Wedding seems to have provided marketers with plenty of inspiration.
If the idea of celebrating William and Kate's union by wearing a crown-themed condom isn't your cup of tea, you can still cheekily remember the wedding of the century by wearing a pair of pink panties embossed with "Kate stole my husband" right along each cheek.
Or you can get a set of thimbles that feature Princess Kate's lovely face.
But royal-themed souvenirs like those are just the tip of the crappy souvenir iceberg according to Lansky, who started the blog last month. And, like the wedding, the tacky souvenirs are already affecting pop culture.
"[The royal wedding] clearly cast a spotlight on them," Lansky told AOL Weird News in an e-mail interview from his home in Sweden. "For many, I think it was a wake-up that crap souvenirs can be viewed as entertainment."
Lansky officially began the blog on April 9 and has 100 pictures of items so far. In this case, a picture really is better than the real thing.
"I just collect photos of souvenirs," he said. "That was the perfect solution to the problem of wanting to collect all this amazing kitsch stuff, but not having any good place to display it all, or even store it, and not having the space to carry it all home. Plus, some of it is pretty expensive."
As bizarre as some of the royal wedding souvenirs might be to a discerning consumer, they are relatively tame compared to items like the "Popener," a Pope John Paul II bottle opener sold in the Vatican City, or the gold-plated poop that Lansky saw in Kyoto, Japan.
That set of boxers featuring the Italian flag and an image of the male genitals from Michelangelo's famous "David" statue is a pretty ballsy souvenir as well.
But Lansky won't turn up his nose at souvenirs that are less, well, in your face.
"I also appreciate the lower-level stuff like a souvenir tote back from Milwaukee that is branded with the name of the city and also the word 'Relax' in large letters," he said before asking rhetorically. "Is Milwaukee famous for relaxation? And what's the point of the message? Is anyone going to see that and think 'Boy, I need to relax a bit. Good thing I spotted that bag?'"
Although every crap souvenir is crappy in its own way, Lansky has been able to break them down into various categories such as "Accidentally R-rated" items, like the lighter and can opener made out an authentic pair of kangaroo testicles, or "Clothing," like the purse commemorating Paris that doubles as a bra.
It's a good thing that Lansky is willing to categorize items since he's noticed that many souvenir makers don't have the same attention to detail.
"It seems at times like no one is even making the decisions," he said. "For example, in Chicago's O'Hare Airport I saw a whole line of pink items branded with the "Chicago Princess" logo and clearly aimed at little girls."
"I understand the little pink teddy bear and stuff like that, but there was also a pink princess shot glass," Lansky added. "Is some parent going to bring home a shot glass for their six-year-old? Why would anyone even make this product? It's like someone said, 'I like the Princess Chicago line. Make the usual assortment of crap with that branding' and then it all just sort of transferred to auto-pilot."
