Warning: Major Spoilers!
How do I love this show? Let me count the ways... Actually, this season has been a bit of a letdown for me, as once the characters were out of their prep school uniforms and into the "real" world a lot of the fun seemed to have evaporated. But last night's season finale did not disappoint as we bid adieu to the merry gang before they go off on their summer hols, xoxo. Except, that is, in realism. Or maybe they're going for magical realism. Sometimes I think this show is just as much science fiction as V or Flash Forward, n'est-ce pas? Last night we were treated to a veritable plethora of unrealism. Assuming you've seen it let's examine some of the more ridiculous plot developments:
- Rufus, I've decided, is by far the world's lamest TV dad. Because when you're grounding your teenage daughter, the first thing you'd do is leave her alone in your loft in Brooklyn with her college student brother who's never home while you stay in uptown at your rich wife's apartment.
- On what planet would the birth of the child of a white glove doorman and his wife, a ladies' maid for a successful clothing designer, be cause for said designer and family to join them in the birthing room? Not to mention Blair's friends roaming around the halls of the hospital waiting for the child to be born? And the parents of her friends (Lily and Rufus)? However let's note that these same new parents were gifted with an apartment no one was using in Queens on their wedding day. Serena, as usual, is dressed for the occasion in a hot outfit and 5 inch heels.
- Chuck shows his romantic side by daring Blair to meet him at twilight on top of the Empire State Building (a la An Affair to Remember, her favorite movie) and if she doesn't show, he'll close his heart to her forever. Meanwhile, Dorota's baby decides to be born the same day and thus Blair gets there too late, finding only the peonies he threw into the trash. And in a show rife with product placement, somehow Blair doesn't think to pull out her fancy Sprint PDA to text him that she's on her way. Come on! These characters practically invented texting!
- Is anyone surprised that Chuck and Jenny finally hooked up in their mutual angst with life in general? Jenny reveals later to Eric that she actually lost her cherry this time. After which Blair walks in all full of love and hope without even guessing that Chuck has just had sex with someone who is still in the bedroom. Blair, WTF? This is a woman who can divine a plot point from blocks away. Totally unrealistic.
- Of course Jenny has outdone herself this week by sending a photo of her brother and Serena curled up in bed together (nothing happened! I swear! OK, they kissed and appear to be headed towards reigniting their relationship) that everyone - even Rufus - sees on Gossip Girl. Meanwhile Nate is understandably pissed off at Serena and sends the photo to Vanessa, who is off in Haiti with CNN (talk about science fiction).
- Nate buries his sorrows by utilizing Chuck's little black book to dial up a threesome at show's end. I still miss his old haircut. He'll probably end up running his grandfather's business by September.
- Blair and Serena, at the close, are just two swinging single gals again. Serena declares that she's going to do a yoga retreat, keep a dream journal, and cleanse spiritually and physically. Thirty seconds later Blair convinces her to go to Paris to go shopping. Next thing you know they're in a car on the way to the airport. Et voila!
- Georgina AKA Satan in a really bad blond wig, also makes an appearance in this episode, which has, as you can see, everything except the kitchen sink. We are left with the image of a very pregnant G confronting Dan, and could this be a con since she didn't appear to be sporting this fashion accessory earlier in the show - although to be fair she was wearing a winter coat (in May - but we can't really blame the continuity person here; it's actually realistic since the weather in New York has been completely schizo this spring - one week 40 degrees, the next 80).
- And then there's Chuck, weaving his way drunkenly down a European alley, only to get attacked and shot by two thugs who steal the diamond engagement ring he's still carrying around that Blair rejected after hearing he slept with Jenny. OMFG is all I can say. Et vous?