It appears as though our toddler operates under his own set of rules that not only don't coincide with civilization's, but often undermine society's very core. I am pretty sure that if you have a toddler, you know what I mean.
Blogger at iamthemilk.wordpress.com - a Wordpress recommended blog in the Family Category (2014-2015)
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.
Participation in modern-day civilization requires familiarity with some basic unwritten rules, such as the generally accepted social taboo on using certain parts of your body as storage areas. If you suddenly find yourself preaching the enforcement of those common-knowledge rules with great conviction, chances are you're either one of those airport security people with the scary dogs or a parent.
It appears as though our toddler operates under his own set of rules that not only don't coincide with civilization's, but often undermine society's very core. I am pretty sure that if you have a toddler, you know what I mean.
Advertisement
I've identified a few rules by which toddlers operate. As always, your contributions and input are much appreciated.
1. If it's your brother's, it's yours. If it's yours, it's also yours. But definitely not your brother's.
Advertisement
2. Your mother's plate is an extension of yours. Actually, scratch that. Your mother's plate is also yours.
3. If it tastes bad, put it in Mama's mouth. That's the nice thing to do. If you want to be bad or discreet, put it on her shirt or pants.
Advertisement
4. If you don't get what you're asking for, shout louder.
5. When in doubt, throw something.
6. The toilet is a magical transportation device.
7. Buttons -- real and metaphorical -- are made for pushing.
8. "I don't want it" is the only way to end a conversation that begins with 50 "I want it"s.
9. Pinching is funny.
10. When something's funny, say it 50 times.
11. At least once a day, engage in a life-threatening activity, but only when your mom is there.
12. You know what else is funny? If you behave all day for your dad on the one day he watches you.
13. "Sorry" marks the natural completion of an action, not a statement of regret.
At HuffPost, we believe that everyone needs high-quality journalism, but we understand that not everyone can afford to pay for expensive news subscriptions. That is why we are committed to providing deeply reported, carefully fact-checked news that is freely accessible to everyone.
Whether you come to HuffPost for updates on the 2024 presidential race, hard-hitting investigations into critical issues facing our country today, or trending stories that make you laugh, we appreciate you. The truth is, news costs money to produce, and we are proud that we have never put our stories behind an expensive paywall.
Would you join us to help keep our stories free for all? Your contribution of as little as $2 will go a long way.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you’ll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.