Ohh, Trump Drained The Swamp So The CEO Bridge To The White House Was Clear!

Now his cabinet picks make sense!

Championship swamp diver and President-elect Donald Trump is reportedly going to pick the president of Goldman Sachs to direct his National Economic Council. 

To recap, Trump has already named billionaire Wilbur Ross as his commerce secretary, billionaire Todd Ricketts as deputy commerce secretary, and street urchin peasant/millionaire Steven Mnuchin, a former Goldman Sachs partner, for Treasury.

“But wasn’t he going to ‘drain the swamp’ in Washington?” you ask.

Good question. He actually did drain the swamp!

And out from the murky depths of that gloomy quagmire rose a bridge — a CEO’s bridge — an old span of planks once home to all manner of creepy crawlies, now traversed by the bipedal creepy crawlies of Wall Street.

Never again shall titans of industry need to cross this dingy swamp to the White House on the backs of their swimming servants!

These moguls will now cross a bridge on the backs of their stronger, walking servants.

At last, the über-rich have a path to representation. This is truly a beacon of hope shining through the sunlight-blocking wealth piles surrounding them.



#TrumpNarratesPlanetEarth Goes Pretty Much Exactly The Way You'd Expect