Look, we’re not going to pretend we know what happened to Ryan Lochte and his buddies over the weekend. Because we don’t know. No one does. The only people who know what happened to Lochte and his buddies over the weekend are them. But here’s what we do know: These are some great Twitter posts, and if good tweets aren’t worth celebrating, what is?
Lochte's fastest time was getting out of Brazil— Vann R. Newkirk II (@fivefifths) August 18, 2016
Ryan Lochte lied about a night on the town to his mom and started an international incident. I'm dead.— Ashley Weatherford (@sincerelyash) August 18, 2016
If Ryan Lochte lied about that robbery, how can we ever believe any man's allegations of robbery? 🤔— WendyBrandes (@WendyBrandes) August 18, 2016
wait but did ryan lochte really say "whatever" with the gun to his forehead or nah— america (@greghoward88) August 18, 2016
Synchronized swimmers would keep their story straight.— Steve Rushin (@SteveRushin) August 18, 2016
For Lochte the unbelievable thing is a 32 year old man still telling his mom the whereabouts of his night out.— Ashley Holcomb (@ashleyxholcomb) August 18, 2016
Honestly, now would be the perfect time to actually rob Lochte— Myles Brown (@mdotbrown) August 18, 2016
If it turns out Lochte filed a false report, I look forward to people bringing up the case every single time a man says he's been robbed.— Caitlin Kelly (@caitlin__kelly) August 18, 2016
"harambe, you're alive! but how?"— Oliver Willis (@owillis) August 18, 2016
"tell no one ryan lochte, the fate of the world depends on it. just make up a story."
I feel like Ryan Lochte just didn't want to tell his mother that he lost his wallet at "a spa"— ☕netw3rk (@netw3rk) August 18, 2016
I can't decide if I want to know THE FULL TRUTH about Ryan Lochte right now or just have it doled out to me in episodes like a morphine drip— Matt Pearce (@mattdpearce) August 17, 2016
I am never going to say "whatever" again without prefacing it, "As Ryan Lochte says at gunpoint,"— Meredith Haggerty (@manymanywords) August 15, 2016
Brazil overthrows elected president in a coup. US shrugs.— Ryan Grim (@ryangrim) August 18, 2016
Brazil drags US swimmers off a plane. THIS MEANS WAR.
(Like how is Ryan Lochte the smartest dude in a four-person group?)— Gary Parrish (@GaryParrishCBS) August 18, 2016
My hair is going back to its normal color tomorrow 🙏— Ryan Lochte (@RyanLochte) August 16, 2016