The tradition of writing letters to Santa Claus dates back about 150 years. But the tradition of parents tweeting about their kids’ funny letters to Santa is a much more recent development.
From unrealistic requests to pleas for leniency, the letters that go out to the North Pole are full of entertaining gems. Here are 30 funny tweets about the art of sending Santa a letter ― from parents (and a few non-parents).
Son: daddy will Santa get my letter?— The Dad (@thedad) December 19, 2019
Me: of course
Son: will he be able to read my writing?
Me: I’m sure he’ll manage
*later in bed*
Me: what the fuck is “dawalapsax”
Wife: i dunno
Me: well get to know because he wants one in blue
My daughter just asked me how to spell bourbon so she's either asking Santa to hook up her old man or writing a letter to child services.— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 18, 2017
5-year-old: Can I send Santa a letter?— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 27, 2018
Me: It's not Christmas.
5: He won't have many letters right now.
My son sent a letter to Santa. I hope it gets there. It doesn't have any postage on it and he put it in the bathroom heater vent.— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) November 27, 2018
Helping my 5yo write her Santa letter... she said "tell Santa I've been really nice because one time I bited my brother."— JEFF WILD (@jiffywild) November 17, 2018
I said "that doesn't sound very nice."
And she said "I told him sorry. Write that down too."
My 6yo wrote a letter to Santa using my dog's paw to hold the crayon and I swear it's more legible than the tax bill.— Jennifer Lizza (@outsmartedmommy) December 2, 2017
5: I wrote Santa a letter, but with different stuff 'cuz I changeddid my mind.— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) December 17, 2016
Me: (crap!) What did you ask for?
5: My teacher knows.
My 8 year old mailed a letter to Santa regarding the gifts he wants so Santa is now writing back with the details on how to vacuum a house.— Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy) November 23, 2016
Dear Santa,— Scary Mommy (@ScaryMommy) December 10, 2018
I'd love my kid's long eyelashes, flawless skin, naptime, and over abundance of energy. Seriously, they aren't even using them anyway.
5yo: *writes letter to Santa* Please bring me an iPad— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) December 19, 2015
[2 weeks later]
*Letter from North Pole arrives* new workshop, who dis?
Dear Santa, I just bought my daughter a cupcake maker I will tell her is from you so you owe me fifty dollars and fuck you.— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) December 19, 2011
6 gave me a four page letter of things he'd like to get from Santa, so I've bought an "Out Of Stock" stamp for Santa's response.— The Alex Nevil, War on Christmas Survivor (@TheAlexNevil) December 8, 2015
Dear Santa,— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) December 6, 2019
Just get my kids to flush the toilet.
My 7yo's working Santa letter is one part wishlist, one part compilation of his little sister's transgressions.— Amy Flory (@FunnyIsFamily) November 3, 2014
Dear Santa— ThreeTimeDaddy (@threetimedaddy) November 24, 2018
Could you please bring my kids some reasonable expectations this year?
8yo, writing letter to Santa: He better be real, I better not be doing this for nothing. And if he’s not real, you better get out your wallet.— SpacedMom (@copymama) November 26, 2017
Anyone else feel burned out by how much time it takes to help your cat write its letter to Santa?— Be Best Mancino-Williams (@Manda_like_wine) November 8, 2017
For Christmas, my kids are getting a letter from the Santa saying that the elves ran out of puppy parts due to a "reindeer food mixup."— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) November 18, 2015
The three year old has dictated his first letter to Santa. Topping out his wishlist for the year are a big hug, a police officer door, and Q (the letter).— Dave Learns Dadding (@DaveLearnsToDad) December 22, 2018
Dear Santa,— ThreeTimeDaddy (@threetimedaddy) November 4, 2018
I’ve not asked for much over the years but could you please bring me something to make my kids stop intermittently screeching at me every time I sit down.
Oh, and hot tea.
(I know it’s a bit early but I wanted to give you time to pull it out the bag 😉)
Dear Santa,— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) November 30, 2017
Just send some noise cancelling headphones.
- parents everywhere
My 4-year-old came home from preschool with a list of everything she wants from Santa.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 10, 2018
She asked for a shovel. End of list.
I'm sleeping with one eye open from now on.
"Dear Santa,— Carbosly (@Carbosly) January 8, 2016
I made a huge mistake."
- Kid that got the hippopotamus for Christmas.