Sarah Jaxheimer, Taylor Swift's Jealousy-Inducing Classmate, Actually Speaks!

For every Cady Heron, there's a Regina George -- that is, the ever-present girl who always seems to be prettier/taller/blonder/richer/more popular, causing you to tear your hair out wondering how she achieves such perfection.

Even girls like Taylor Swift have their Regina Georges. In her recent Vogue profile, the award-winning pop star names hers, unleashing her insecurities in a most adorably articulated rant. A selection:

"So . . . middle school? Awkward," she says, launching into the first of many comic riffs. "Having a hobby that's different from everyone else's? Awkward. Singing the national anthem on weekends instead of going to sleepovers? More awkward. Braces? Awkward. Gain a lot of weight before you hit the growth spurt? Awkward. Frizzy hair, don't embrace the curls yet? Awkward. Try to straighten it? Awkward!" She starts to laugh. "So many phases!"


"There's always that seventh-grade girl who looks like she's 25. And you're like, How do you do it? How do you do it, Sarah Jaxheimer?" She lets out a comically ear-piercing shriek: "Why is your hair always so shiny?!" (Later, I Google Sarah Jaxheimer, and sure enough, she has perfect, lustrous Jennifer Aniston hair.)

First off, how freakin' adorable (and right on the money) is Taylor? Second, we want more of this supposedly gorgeous Sarah Jaxheimer. Vogue might have Googled Sarah Jaxheimer but went one further: they actually interviewed her.

So what is it about Little Miss Jaxheimer? What are her secrets?? Sarah didn't have much dirt to spill, but she did drop one hint as to why Taylor might have some lingering jealousy: "Well, I think it might have something to do with the fact that I was dating the boy she liked." Ouch.

And how does she get her hair so shiny? The answer will disappoint you. "I've never really done anything special," the college student told "I just buy whatever shampoo and conditioner I think smells good."

Darn. Maybe Taylor will tell us her hair secrets? She's totally our Sarah Jaxheimer.